~Fifth Edition~
The Schteinn Report -- A Real News Report For The Real People Of The Real World Of Steemit
For All The News That Ought To Be News
"Tired of Fake News and Alternative Facts? - No Worries, We'll Make It Up To You"
Welcome, to the Fifth Edition of 'The Schteinn Report'
Brought To You By: Variable Productions Limited
This one is: Both 'On and Off The Vine'
-A Steemit EXCLUSIVE Interview, by d.d.schteinn
Rating: ᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥᴥ - 10/10 !
(Happy heads @ the theater)
Recommendation: You Really Should Go And See This Movie, Once It Is Released!
The Boat And The Beach --The Movie
Blue Boat On Ban Krood Beach
(Boat to be used in new movie)
Photo: Taken From 
's (POST) -- Used With Permission.
Prologue
The following is an exclusive interview, granted exclusively to The Schteinn Report, with movie director Marios de Plaama. The interview was recorded on May 21, 2017, and discusses his new movie Boats And The Beach, due out some time in the near future, or whenever it can be completed.
Can you feel it?! The BUZZ is absolutely electric on the Talk shows, the Tabloids, as well as here in Steemitville. Why such a hubbub? Because this movie was inspired and partially written by none other than our very own, infamous Steemitian and post-er extraordinaire from Thailand,
Transcript of Completed Interview With Director Marios de Plaama
DDS - Mr. de Plaama, welcome to The Schteinn Report, thanks for sitting down with me today. May I call you Marios?
MDP - You're very welcome, thanks for having me. No, you probably shouldn't.
DDS - Oh, OK...um, so let's start out by talking a bit about you and your career. That alright with you?
MDP - Sure, love to talk about myself. [small chuckle]
DDS - So, Marios de Plaama. That's an interesting name, I'm thinking, Spain, maybe? Is that where you hail from?
MDP - Does sound like it, doesn't it. No, actually, I'm from Ipswich.
DDS - New York?
MDP - South Dakota. [Taps mic on lapel] Is this thing working?
DDS - I think so. We can check.
MDP - I can do it. Larry! Larry's my sound man. Take him everywhere I go. He can check it out. Larry, go over to the soundboard and give this thing a 1-2-3.
Larry, the sound man, speaking into monitor microphone - Test, test, 1-2-3, check, check. Test. Check. Seems to be working, Mr. de Plaama.
MDP - Great. Go have a seat, Larry.
DDS - OK, we're back. So great, you're from Ipswich, South Dakota. Was your family originally from Spain?
MDP - No...Detroit.
DDS - Detroit. Hmm. Is de Plaama your given name?
MDP - No, actually it's Hodgedoodle. Delman Hodgedoodle. I changed it. To sound, you know, more directorial.
DDS - Makes sense. So, this movie thing, it's not all that new to you, is it? What were some of your earlier works, and what were they about?
MDP - Well, let's see. My first was Lizard People From The Center Of The Moon, then Mars Fights Back. My early stuff just wasn't appreciated for it's artistic content. Those two didn't exactly set the world on fire at the box office, know what I mean? I followed those with It Came From Under A Big Flat Rock, and Hot Rod Beach-The Gila Monsters Emerge. Both of those did pretty well on the VCR rental circuit.
DDS - I think I've seen the big flat rock movie, though they changed the title a bit (Reference), but not the others. Sounds to me like a major theme emerges here, things coming out of from under the ground. Is that something you feel passionate about?
MDP - No. No, never really thought about it before.
DDS - Oh, well, moving on. What's this next movie about?
MDP - Boats. Boats and Beaches. Entire movie filmed on Ban Krood Beach, in Thailand.
DDS - Sounds interesting, and a break from your past work. No creatures or things coming from beneath the sand or anything like that?
MDP - [A sideways mouth thing, head shake, and a smirk of disdain. No response]
DDS - [Pause] Where did this idea for the new movie come from?
MDP - Got it from a blog site, called Steemit.
DDS - Steemit. Wow, that's one of my affiliates. Who knew. How did this come about?
MDP - Well, it all started from a post I read on that site. By an author named
I've taken that post, and a few of her earlier works, and with my writer, Larry LaSilver, have fleshed out a new movie. It's going to be aptly titled Boats And The Beach.
DDS - Wow, Beaches and Boats. Can you give us a bit of a run down, a teaser if you will, about the movie. I realize you don't want to give too much of it away this early. Might ruin the surprise.
MDP - No, don't want that. Let's see, what's it about. Well, it has boats, and beaches.
DDS- Sounds fascinating.
MDP - Oh, it is. All starts out on this Ban Krood Beach. In Thailand. Ever been there? Beautiful. Heady stuff. Gonna be a classic. Picture this....there's a blue boat, out in the surf. I can see it all now...[holds hands up in front of face like we see Spielberg do on the set, making that square with his thumb and index fingers, looking through the square like it's a viewfinder]. We're on the beach. This
DDS - No, you didn't mention that.
MDB - Oh yeah, she's the heroine. There she is, sitting in the center seat, rowing. Huge straw sunhat, rowing out toward the sunset. Picture it...deep, red sunset of Thailand, rain storm waning on the horizon in the background, sandy beaches of Thailand in the foreground. Dogs, cavorting all along the beach, a few other beachcombers, not many. There she is,
DDS - Electric coolers, interesting.
MDP - [Doesn't skip a beat] Coolers, and maybe some other water jugs too. Possibly an extra set of oars, I'm not sure.
DDS - A generator, maybe? Otherwise, how do these coolers work out in a boat on the ocean?
MDP - Generator! [Scoffs] Electric cord. Huge one! Hundred feet or more. Like those one's you get at Walmart for $17.95. Run out to the boat, strung across the water on a bunch of inner-tubes. Seventy five, eighty of them, stretched to the shore like a little train on the water. Held together with ribbon-cord.
The electric cord snaking from tube to tube, each tube has it's own little homemade wooden-stick pier structures, kind of like old-time railroad trestles. Always liked those things. The cord, stretches all the way back to the beach. To one of those cabana hut things. Electric cord is plugged in to the receptacle on a post at the cabana.
[At this point, Mr. de Plaama got very worked up. He finally took a breath, then continued on, getting louder and louder and more excited by the moment, winging his hands about in animated gestures as he talked].
MDP - Seventeen, eighteen coolers, stacked all around in the blue boat. Thing looks like a wooden cargo ship, with those containers spread all over the decks, the kind you see crossing the ocean. Full of shoes, and other things. Those things fall off in the stormy seas now and then. But in this movie, the coolers stay in the blue boat.
The beach, the ocean, the rowboat, and electric coolers. Seventeen, eighteen of them, filled to the brim with food. Mainly desserts. Oodles and oodles of grand desserts. Made from coconuts, coconuts and fruit. Local tropical fruit. Like watermelon and mango's. And corn. Food for the long journey
DDS - [I try to interrupt, to ask about the coconuts, and how long this adventure could be, with the cord still connected to the cabana, all to no avail.]
MDP- A big trip. Really big trip on the ocean. Fun trip. But it gets interrupted. Imagine this....the sun, dips down to the horizon in the East. Then, a sound, an odd, eerie sound. Coming up from the trees on shore, to camera right.
The beach dogs are yowling now. The odd noise grows. It's a low-pitched, loopy, space-age sound. Like those one's you hear on 1950's television shows in Black and White. Our heroine stands up in the boat, shading her eyes from the sun behind her. Soon, a small, odd craft emerges up from the sand in the trees to camera left.
It's some sort of space craft, an oddly-shaped, hovering saucer, like two dinner plates, taped together with duct tape at the edges. Whirring about above the tropical trees. It all looks great. I've imagined it. And we have an excellent prop man. Top notch. All the special effects done by my prop man, Larry. Great prop man. Of course you can't see him, in the movie. He's off in the bushes with a fishing pole and string. Out of sight, off to camera right.
[Mr. de Plaama doesn't even break stride] This is where it gets good. Our heroine, still standing in the boat, looks back to the beach, and wonder's aloud: "What manner of space-based craft is this, on my favorite Thai beach in yonder trees"?
Then, it all happens, a flash of bright light, the dogs bark, a scream from behind the cabana, oh, a horrible, bloodcurdling scream, and then, from the saucer, out pours...
DDS - WHAT THE...?
MDP - Sorry about that, must have been my foot...darn thing... [Loud POP sound]
DDS - [recorded at a later date] At about this time, everything went dead. All the lights to the studio went off, and all of our sound and recording equipment went out as well. Deader than a toad on the road. Evidently, in all his excitement and wild hand and foot gesticulations, Mr. de Plaama wrapped our main electric cord to the panel feed around his foot, and pulled the cord from the wall.
Not the plug, but the entire cord! The #8 rubber insulated wire pulled free from the plug in the wall receptacle. Fat rubber plug just sat there in the wall, hole in the end where the cord USED to be, spewing blue and white sparks all across the shiny studio floor.
Looked like one of those stand-up tubes the kids light out in the street on the Fourth of July. Kazinnng and kaaapiiiinnnnggg, the 220 volt stuff was shooting in all directions. Scared the heebeejeebee's out of everybody.
Luckily our technician, with help from Larry, Mr. de Plaama's sound, camera, and prop man, was able to get it all under control. They found the breaker box and turned off the building power, then extinguished the three or four very small fires that had sprung up around the studio.
Unfortunately, all Larry could find was an extinguisher with an A-B rating, and since some of these fires were electric, the results were a bit disastrous. With a bit of luck we hope to have the studio up and running for interviews once more in mid to late summer.
Mr. de Plaama did ask me later, after all the firetrucks were gone, to apologize for any inconvenience to our audience, and to say that the movie will be out in the fall or winter, or at the latest in spring, or the next summer. Basically, whenever they can actually get it completed. Evidently funding is a bit tight, and Larry might have to have back surgery in the fall. Something to do with a bad disc and overwork.
In the meantime, to keep from getting antsy, I recommend you check out and follow
My thanks to Mr. de Plaama, Larry, and of course, the author and star of the movie,
"Old Fashioned Movie Making -- The Way Movies Are Supposed To Be Made" -dds
Thanks for stopping in, to get a balcony-side view of a movie in review, and some REAL NEWS of the world.
A Huge Shout Out, with a reporter's official megaphone goes to 
for designing and creating this wonderful credential (above) for The Schteinn Report. Not only is it gorgeous and well developed, but I now have access and entry into places I'm probably not supposed to be. ( I really appreciate creating this card for me, as I've been waiting for MONTHS for my 'Official Reporters Card' from The Newcastle Online Reporting School Of Pretty Good Journalism -Apollo Beach, FL. They have not been returning my calls, it seems they have moved to a new address.)
NOTE: This whole idea was inspired by a short comment thread between myself and
Please Check Out My Other Posts, If You So Desire
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