I've lived in Japan for 6 years, and I've gotten used to the difference in culture, food, and people. Things that once had me shouting, "Dude, WTF is that??" now make me shrug my shoulders and go, "Huh". But it’s the humble convenience store that keeps things exciting for me!
1) It Truly Is Convenient
I can't tell you how many times I've been in a jam, only to find myself saved from peril because of my local combini. For instance, my wife and I decided to turn a day trip out in the big city into an overnight stay. But the fear of having no clean underwear for the next day paralyzed me. Now, I know all about the turn-it-inside-out trick that some people pull, but that's just not for me. I prefer to treat my man-parts with respect.
Enter our hero, the convenience store! Not only do they have underwear, you can buy socks, undershirts, pantyhose (for the ladies, or the guys who like to dress like ladies), deodorant; you get the idea. I can sleep well at night knowing that if an underwear emergency strikes, I'm safe in the arms of the combini!
2) The Food Is Amazing
Growing up, I used to stop by the local Circle-K after school to get snacks. It was a depressing, poorly lit, dank, musty den for scrawny 50-year-old men in cut-off sleeve shirts with faded confederate flag tattoos to hang out and complain about "the damn illegals takin' our jobs!". I had a plethora of food options: snacks, cold sandwiches, or the hot dogs that have been sitting in water for who-knows-how-long.
But in Japan, when they give you choices, they give you choices! From fresh foods, to desserts, to drinks, you will NOT be disappointed at all! There are so many options, and these pictures don't do it justice!
In the mood for pasta? How about some bacon and mushroom pasta in a Japanese-style sauce? Need something a little heavier? We got you covered with this Indian butter chicken curry, fam. On a diet and need something healthy and low-cal? A fresh salad with shredded chicken oughta do it.
And the choices don't stop in the cold section. There are steamed meat buns; fried foods; and yakitori, grilled chicken skewers, all available hot and fresh.
3) Desserts Are Restaurant-Quality
Convenience stores in Japan are all battling for the hearts and minds of the people, so they are focused on different things to help them stand out. For instance, Family Marts have their sights set on desserts, and boy does it show. The crepes on sale are kept in protective packaging to ensure that you can enjoy its delicate taste, shape, and texture, anytime. Can you imagine 7-11s in America selling crepes? They'd be more mashed and tattered than a well-traveled dollar bill.
There's also a fabulous looking cheesecake, in packaging that looks more at home encapsulating a rare, $1 million dollar diamond, than on a dessert. The thing that blew me away was when I picked up the packaging, the cheesecake was so light and fluffy that it jiggled! I was so mesmerized by that sweet, sweet jiggle that I had to stop myself from shaking it, out of fear of looking like I was furiously... You get the idea.
4) You Can Get Drunk And Sober At The Same Time
Ask any expat living in Japan what their favorite past-time is, and they'll inevitably tell you, "Grabbing a beer at the combini and drinking it outside." The amount of options for brewskis is staggering. You can get regular, light, IPAs, beers flavored with seasonal fruits, and even non-alcoholic beers.
But what if you're not a fan of barley and hops? Fret not! You too can indulge in your liquid vice! There are canned cocktails, red and white wines, rums, whiskeys, liquers, mixers... Everything you need to end the night great and start the day horribly!
When your night of drunken glory is over and you're fighting off that head-splitting hangover, you can grab yourself a hot canned coffee. That's right! A hot canned coffee or tea is just an arm's length away!
But if you're not in a rush and prefer your coffee freshly brewed, they've got that too. Convenience stores have been pushing themselves as your one-stop shop before heading in to the office by offering "cafe-quality" coffee.
Let me say, they weren't joking about cafe-quality! They have machines that can brew a mean one. Just grab a cup, choose what kind of coffee you want, and the machine grinds some beans and brews you a perfect coffee, super fast. No longer do you have to wait 10 minutes in line to grab a coffee from a pimply-faced kid who spells your name wrong on your cup. Japan has embraced the beautiful future of never having to interact with another human again!
5) "Pssst... Hey Kid, Wanna See Something Cool?"
Growing up in a puritan country like America, we shun the evils of human sexuality and replace it with something infinitely more wholesome: good old-fashioned violence! So you can imagine how utterly repulsed and shocked I was to find literal pornography on the shelves! For all to see! Shame on you, Japan! Teach your kids to hurt and maim each other, rather than peddling this filth at them!
All kidding aside, it still leaves me speechless that porn magazines are sitting out in the open, free to be read by anyone. Walk into any convenience store at the right time, and you'll catch an older Japanese man who's already thrown all dignity to the wind and traded it for a 10-minute perusal through a nudie mag in public.
Unlike the ones sold in America, they aren't kept behind the counter, and they aren't sealed in that black plastic bag. Hell, you don't even need to be a customer! Just walk in, read shamelessly, then leave. To make things better, the porn mags are usually located right next to the restrooms. Talk about convenient!
6) Amazingly Clean Restrooms
I've saved the best for last: the bathrooms in Japanese convenient stores are amazing. It's like there are people working there who actually -- get this -- care about their job!
How many times have you walked into a gas station bathroom, only to be horrified by what was left in the toilet, or WORSE, what was left on the floor? It’s like when you walk through that door, you're instantly teleported into a room where the floor and walls are smeared with the sins of humanity. "What's that liquid on the floor? Why is the toilet missing it's seat? What is a 'Spanish Fly'”? These are all questions that we've asked ourselves upon entering a gas station bathroom.
But here in Japan, they don't give you a bathroom that you have to share with others. You get your own private room, free for you to relieve yourself in ultimate comfort! Never again will you have to worry about somebody peeking into the crack of the stall door after you've shouted, "It's occupied!!" 3 times in a row.
Before you drop shorts and take a seat, you can use one of mankind's greatest achievements to prepare your mind and body (mostly your body) for your ascent into porcelain paradise. A dispenser filled with alcohol spray to wipe the toilet seat is available for any and all who come.
While using the throne, you are given a couple of options on how to cleanse yourself. Sure, you can just wipe yourself with TP and call it a day. You can also be amazed at Trog, who make great kill with club, feed whole village. But we're not cavemen. In the modern world, we let technology clean our butts.
With the press of a button, you'll have a jet of warm water spraying the deepest parts of your soul, cleansing you of your sin. You can adjust the strength of the spray, just in case you had a particularly messy, and hard-to-wipe sin. If you're ashamed of your own body's natural sounds, you can play a 'flushing sound' to mask any offending noises. And say ‘goodbye’ to the days of having to press the flusher with your foot, awkwardly trying not to slip and fall; a single button-press will flush your wastes and worries away, never to be seen again.
The best part is that they're open for everyone to use! Just walk in, head straight to the bathroom, and nobody raises a fuss. No having to ask for permission, being forced to buy something, or having to carry that key with the ridiculously large keychain around with you.
Japanese Convenience Stores: A National Treasure
There is still so much I can say about them, but then I'd have to change the title to An Unending List Of Reasons Why JAPANESE CONVENIENCE STORES STILL BLOW MY MIND! The fierce competition between the big brands of convenience stores fuels innovation, comfort, and convenience to unprecedented levels. Our American gas stations can learn a lot, and if they can adopt even just 10% of the things that Japanese convenience stores do right; in the wise words of Tommy Wiseau, "The world would be a better place to live."