The demonic face in the brasses gave a goofy smile and I was tempted to feel scared, yet I did not give in.
I sat there staring at it and breathing deeply, trying to feel the essence of what it was.
It wasn't clear whether it was a friendly elemental, just a mocking spirit, or a messenger of evil. The first thing that came to my mind was that it was laughing at me for giving up on my labors at the forest, pointing at how weak I'd been for doing so.
Ayun returned with the flashlight and the strange moment vanished. I don't know why but I didn't feel like commenting any of it to him and I thought no more about the scene either.
We had gathered some polystyrene from the building to lay out backs on, and I felt it was time for me to give it a try.
As I lay on my "bed", Ayun kept burning little pieces of cardboard. Suddenly I had an intense deja Vu, as the lighting of the wall and the symbols drawn on it were extremely familiar to me.
The scenario became unsettling and a lot of noises begin to take over the building, which was large and probably once used as a factory.
I wondered why I was there. I could have been at my house, tending to my garden, under the protection of the forest. I could have been warm and dry in my bed. Whatever had driven me to trade that comfort for this madness?
Memories flooded me once again. The kitties, the trees, the many moments in which life had made sense, despite the challenging odds. I longed for that sense, which was now gone.
For some reason, even Ayun seemed menacing now. When I had met him he was drunk and had ended the night absolutely wasted. He seemed very humble under that state, but this night free from alcohol he was different, even seemed larger. His voice had grown deep and no longer projected the same approval towards me as moments ago.
I reminded myself of the esoteric training I had been through all these last years and told myself: "remember, this is not a place nor a reality, it is a dimension born from your state of consciousness".
Also remembered to ask the spirits of the place for permission to stay, which drives one's own consciousness into humbleness, which can often end the friction between conflicting energies.
Things calmed down and my breath became gentle. One of the beautiful things of visiting hell is that ordinary reality feels like a relief.
We smoked as much weed as we could, trying to bring the jar I had a bit down, but we were too stoned to continue and it seemed just as full as before. Even fuller.
Ayun was back to his friendly attitude and we talked about bizarre and funny things. Then we did some chanting and by the end laughed about the madness of it all before going to sleep.
To be continued