For the past few days, I have been eating only fruit and drinking water as a part of the 30 Day Fruit Challenge I am doing. On day 7, I had this intense craving for bread, starch, and fatty foods. I ended up caving to that desire after realizing that my habit for eating these types of food is in direct correlation to my emotions. Before eating the home baked herb bread that my boyfriend bakes, I was having a very stressful day at work, along with issues going on in regards to my family. My brain kept nagging at me to "just eat some." As soon as I came to my senses, I had eaten 4 slices of the herb bread, two helpings of lemon pepper rice and the root veggies that my boyfriend had baked as well.
After eating it all, I felt like a rock had hit my stomach. I became lethargic and numb. I soon realized that it's part of a habit I had grown up with whenever I was feeling sad, depressed or angry.
Feeling like I didn't belong in this world? Eat some toasted peanut and jelly sandwiches or cinnamon sugar toast while curled up into a ball while watching Netflix.
Feeling like my family didn't care about me? Eat six peanut butter or chocolate chip cookies and play video games up in my room.
Feeling useless? Binge on french fries.
All of these foods I would go to for comfort when I was down. If I wasn't feeling strong enough to handle my emotions, I would bury them with food until I felt better. The act of chewing created something for me to focus on.
When eating fruit (or raw fruits and greens), I was better at handling those emotions. Fruit doesn't make me numb, but it helps me observe my emotions and why I am feeling them. Instead of going to cooked starch and fatty foods for comfort, using fruit as a better habit when I do feel like caving would be more beneficial for me and my health; physical and mental.
These are just some of my thoughts today and where my raw vegan/Fruitarian journey is leading me.