Train robbery

Wondering what's wrong with the WiFi when the coffee shop you're working in is on fire is kind of like worrying about the No Trespassing signs on the trees as your car goes hurtling over the river and through the woods after hitting a patch of black ice on that last turn—in both cases you are focusing on the wrong problem, and in neither case should you be attempting to write and publish an SEO article about blog content on a social media platform like Hive. As far as introductions go, though, this one seems to be off to a pretty good start. I would only recommend using fewer vowels and more semicolons if you really want to hook your audience and ensure you'll get lots of clicks over to that sales lander for your brand-new self-help ebook from the Google ad that's featured immediately below this paragraph and summarily blocked by Brave, Firefox, and other similarly non-shitty web browsers. If you're having trouble following my train of thought here, let me clarify it for you—I don't have one. And it's not like I really ever had a choice in the matter, right? Let's be real, the world is a fairly unfair place, so there's no point in me wasting my time complaining about not having a train of thought when I'd be much better off simply accepting my lot in life and instead spending that time hatching a plot to commandeer someone else's train. You can't control the hand you're dealt but you can certainly improve upon it once you've been alive long enough to realize how shit it actually is. Setting aside for the time being and probably indefinitely the consideration that perhaps the universe saw fit to deal me such a shit hand because it knew that I couldn't be trusted with any cards of any sort of significance and it suspected that I would quickly and confidently derail any and all trains of thought that happened to be passed my way back when they were passing out trains of thought, I will now follow in the footsteps of history's best and brightest humans, the ones who came before me and established so brilliantly how the whole world should work, by stockpiling weapons, ammunition, and disposable troops until I have enough of each category to control the global narratives on law, policy, and ethics and keep everyone subservient to me and thinking inside all of the right boxes. By this point my point should be clear—nobody wants to read your fucking self-help ebook. Have you thought about pursuing a career in train robbery?