Previously on Bachelor's Sojourn
“Are you Deji? The GM said I should call you”. Kai, who has this fine voice? It definitely does not belong to a staff. I look up and it’s the fine lady that was in the Corolla. She brought me back to reality. My sweat pangs were out. We both walked to GM’s office.
“Deji, Good morning. Meet Karelle, our new intern. She would help more in administrative works but please teach her as much as you know on everything. She also went to a private university, so I guess you both would get along easily. Karelle,you would meet the MD when he gets back during the week”.
I replied the GM, left his office with Karelle and told her to feel free to ask me anything. In my mind, I meant ‘ask me everything’.
“I attended Bowen University. Which did you attend?” I asked. She replied “North Western University”. In my mind, I wondered where that was. I’d sized her up and thought it would be Covenant University or maybe ABTIL.
“Eeerrr where is that? Niger Delta?” I asked.
“No, it’s in Chicago. It’s a private university in Chicago “, she quipped. Aye mi ooohh!!! GM just made a fool of me sha. I should have known o. Her accent had some Yankee twist to it but my yeye Bowen pride and accent took over. How private University in Naija and Chicago take relate na? Well, I must level up. The spirit of “I must belong no go kill me”!
‘I see. You even look like one of them’ I said.
‘Oh please, come on! I’m a full blown Nigerian, Nnewi to be precise ‘ she replied with a push-tap on my shoulder. Yass!! She’s already touching me. DJ for the win!! Bimbo and I have been counting scores with babes, but with this American goal I’m about to score, I’m about to lead with a wide margin. Office romance loading….
When I got home later that day, my mum explained to me that Otunba was still very upset. Well, that’s not news. His anger usually takes a week or two: In fact, a semester. Otunba has showed me pepper. He has never hit me before, funny enough. But he knows how to deal with you financially and emotionally. But the funny thing is, I like him a lot! You’re thinking: “Before! Isn’t he your father?”. I’d explain:
Remember Bruce Jenner? One of those Kardashians? Remember he used to be the father, until he changed gender, and became a woman. Someone said he expected his daughters and sons to disown him as their father, since he’s no more a man. But I wonder why that should matter. Does changing sex erode all the things he has done for you as a father? I bet not. And that’s why I like Otunba. Making sense now? NO, Otunba did not change gender!!
Otunba isn’t my real dad. He’s my mum’s husband.
I’ve never met Popo before. Popo is my real dad, whose name is Mr. Popoola. But we communicate, exchange mails and have video called twice. In my view, my father is who was there for me, not who poured semen inside my mother. So I have extremely minimal sentiments and attachment to him. I only remember him when I’ve offended Otunba and he tells me not to touch his TV or refuse to pay my school fees on time.
Image Credit: Illustration by Javier Jaén. Boots: Péter Gudella/Dreamstime
That school part is bad. When Otunba’s driver drops me in school, it’s usually a Mercedes Benz or a Lexus jeep or something of that nature. So I look like the regular bad guy,in a private university. But if I mistakenly offend him, I would look like someone who a cooperative of farmers are paying his school fees. And it’s really a tough time. That makes me remember my police father (you see why we call him Popo? Popo as in police, Popoola as his real name). Popo works and lives in the Netherlands. He once threatened Otunba, that the day he touches me, is the day he would regret his existence. Well, not like Otunba is scared of such, because if they were both in this country, he would be Otunba’s chief security officer.
Anyway, after mum explained Otunba’s grievances, she told me she and my dad had been having conversations in recent times about me moving to the Netherlands. Eyyyy!!!!!! This is scary!! Otunba won’t accept. I don’t know what to expect out there, in another country. I’ve only been abroad only once. Well, if Ghana would pass as abroad.
Ghana. I wasted money on that trip. I went with Mimi. Mimi of life! Almighty Mimi!! One Mimi, one Nation!!! One of my guys had Mimi on his BBM display picture, so I asked what’s up with her and he said she was a one-time fling and that he knows a few guys who had smashed her, so she wasn’t a big deal. I said ‘guy, give me this babe, make I build mansion there. I no dey do one time’. He gave me, and after two days conversation, Mimi was in a cab to my house. As she had her own business, she had the luxury of time.
I like babes who would take a cab to come see you, and not even think it’s expected of you to pay for the fare. I told the gateman to open the gate for her, while I stalled a little to open the front door. I wanted her to gawk a little at Otunba’s beautiful compound. I opened the kitchen door; so she would know that we also use Air conditioning in the kitchen, and had a TV in it- don’t judge me till you meet Mimi…except she didn’t look like she gave a hoot about all that. That’s her business ooo. Me, I must smash today.
As we walked to my room, my mind kept racing. She’s as pretty as she looked in pictures but that voluptuous body was curvier than the picture. She wore this body-con dress made of a very light material, so all her contours were screaming!! Choi! Her body kept saying ‘come and do’, looking like those girls who danced in the music video for ‘pass the agbara’ by the Skuki brothers. Her make up was top notch (however, I later discovered the excessive make up was to cover a not too smooth face).
I asked if Baileys was a good drink, she said yes. I wanted her to be under the influence, but not too drunk to be unaware or unconscious of our “business”. Before going to the bathroom to have a quick shower, I had a glass with her, and played ‘wa fe ku lale yi’ by Reminisce. She needed to realize we aren’t here to play, but to get to business. When I got out of the shower, Mimi was done with the Baileys! Chale!!! This one had better not pass out b4 we start anything oh! Without looking at me, she asked for something stronger. Something like Jack Daniels. I went to the bar to get Remy Martin’s and by the time I was back, this babe was smoking in my room. Ehn ehn!!
Now, let me say this. Based on comments from my friends, and also voices from my inner man, I’m a sure guy. I don’t drink too much, I can smash almost any babe I put my mind to, and I’m readily available for major fun. There’s a way I would track a babe, and know that it’s s sure deal. Even if she’s fronting, I can work around it and hit the target. So scoring with Mimi was something I’d assessed as possible. But I needed a plan. I mean, in our chats, I’d only said things like ‘choi, this your body is hot, If I catch you ehn! The things I’m doing to you in my head ehn!” and such nuances. She would just say things like ‘lol’ or ‘ yimu’ or ‘leave it like that’. So you see, she’s not necessarily saying yes, neither is she saying no. I decided that we should play truth or dare; she said it’s too boring. Lobatan! She then offered a game from her phone.
It’s a game that has two dices. One dice has the following sides: Kiss, Suck, Caress, Bite, Nibble and “your choice” ‘ while the other dice had Ears, Lips, Nether Regions, Boobs, Thighs, Nape’. Then we started playing. Of course, Mimi went first.
She rolled ’bite ears’ on the dices. E jo, what is this? I blurted! She laughed, moved closer, bit my ears, n proceeded to lick for some extra seconds. Then she smacked her tongue, exhaled and just did some magic, while on my ears. O boy! I knew I was in for it. Then she stopped. It was my turn next. I rolled ‘nibble thighs’. Please, what’s all this? How does one nibble on thighs? A phone call came in on her phone, and as she picked it, I went to do the mumu task. She didn’t even flinch one bit! Her call lasted for about a minute more, and we continued. She played a ‘suck boobs’ and that caused us to both laugh. “This flat chest of mine? Kuku kill me” I chuckled. She used her fingers to tell me to raise my net T-shirt up, which I did. With a very seductive look, she pushed me on the bed, closed my legs together and sat on me and started this task…She pulled her dress up higher, and I saw that as an invitation, as I grabbed her, but she removed my hands, and pinned them to the end of the bed. After some seconds on this play that brings me no sensation, she holds my two wrists with a hand, and used the other hand to loosen the band of my joggers. All that was on my mind at this point was how to tell Bimbo this gist. One more time, I’m gonna smash a babe at the first meeting…She finally gets my joggers down and she begins to slide her body down, to start what I suppose was an insane oral sensation. Man, I was on fire!! I just hit a jackpot!!!
Just before her mouth gets to work, I hear Otunba’s voice calling my name, just outside my room. Holy crap!! I bundled her off me, and we quickly package and then I open the door for Otunba. Remember my last encounter with Otunba? By the Mikano generator?
“Deji, I need you to meet my account manager to……haaa, you have a visitor. Omo baba ee! Hello, young woman”.
‘Good afternoon, sir ‘, Mimi said.
Written by ThAtAfRiCaNkId a very great writer that writes for fun. To inspire, to amuse, or just because he had to write at that moment.