Previously on Bachelor's Sojourn

‘If only your grades are fine as the ladies who come to see you’ or ‘ if your GP is as spotless as your face’. Those were the usual lines Otunba would usually use when he sees me with a girl and it never bothered me.

But this time is different!!! This man just came to spoil show.

Apart from the money that business owners have, every other thing about their lifestyle can be annoying. Otunba can leave for the office at 4pm or return from work at 11am after leaving the house at 9:30. Don’t get me wrong, he never complains about a lady in my room. Instead, he praises me, depending on the beauty of the lady but he never indulges me to be randy. However, when I do something wrong, such as my every semester wrong doing of a low CGPA, Otunba would finish my career. His tongue-lashing always resets my brain…even though the reset is always short-lived.

“Well, I need you to go to the bank to cash this cheque. The account manager is waiting for you. Your friend can go with you”, he said.

As we walked out and Otunba saw Mimi’s backside, he tapped my shoulder with that ‘that’s my boy’ grin on his face. As I got into the compound, I ran into my mother who gave her usual disapproving. She called me to one side and asked where I was going. I explained that Otunba sent me to the bank and she said ‘iya baba e ni o npa iro fun’ meaning it’s your father’s mum you are lying to. Sometimes I wonder whom she’s referring to when she says this. Is it Otunba’s mum or Popo’s mum? She says something of that nature at least every week, dissing my dad’s mum or dad. She does know that my future wife would say the same to my kids, right? Oh well!

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Picture Credit

In the end, my little stint Mimi didn’t click o. After leaving the bank, we split. After some weeks, I saw her proposal video on Instagram, which was followed by introduction. My heart sank. Not because I was in love with her or anything, but I always secretly hoped I’d get another opportunity to play our little dice games. Again, don’t blame me till you meet Mimi. But low key, luck was about to smile on me, without my knowledge!!!

Some 2 months after Mimi’s introduction, all those pictures disappeared from her Instagram page. Therefore, I buzzed her on BBM. She wouldn’t tell me the full details, but summarized their relationship as over. As I would later find out, the fiancée discovered her “sexcapades” and escapades and left her. So I urged her to have a getaway, to cool off (not like she needed one). She asked where, and I said Ghana. Guess what? Mimi said okay. See why I said luck was about to smile on me.

We drew up a plan, agreed to split the bills (I like this type of babe, no money palavers) go to Ghana by road, and return by air. Before we knew it, our plan materialized! Few days later, we landed Ghana at about 11pm; it was a 14-hour journey. We’d booked a hotel online, so the moment the ABC bus dropped us close to Accra Mall, we took a cab to our hotel. After about 40 minutes, we were well settled, and I set off to sleep. I was between dosing and sleeping when I felt a very warm sensation in my “nether region”. Lorokan, Mimi gave me one mouth action that night. I was close to passing out. Sorry, I lie, I meant I passed out, because that was the end for the night, but also the beginning of a 4 day long sexual adventure. See why I say “Almighty Mimi” Choi!

Mimi is a porn star. No, I give it to her. My original plan was to do EVERYTHING to this girl but boy!! I was a learner? Mimi took me to Antarctica, then Sahara desert and then the deep ends of the Atlantic Ocean. This babe was dominating as hell!!

Wait, did I tell you she was a little over 2 years older than me? So her domination came from every angle! If she says it’s time to stop, it’s time to stop. You can’t seduce Mimi. She has a mind of her own, and would do only what she wants to. In 4 days, we went out only twice, to take a walk on the street. All we did was watch TV, have sex, sleep, have more sex, eat, drink, have crazy sex, sleep, eat, have some type of sex, watch TV, take a walk, drink, try out some weird sex position, bath together and sleep.

So you see why Ghana was a waste of money? Not a total waste but we could have done this in a random hotel in our beloved country. Well, I got my passport dis-virgin, so it counts, right? Yes, thank you! And you know the best part of all these? There were no emotions, no complications. Mimi never asked me “what are we doing, where is this headed to” and the likes. Mimi, I duff my hat for you from here oh!!

My mind raced all day at the idea of moving to Netherlands. Mum said she would tell Popo to discuss with me, while she would handle Otunba. I got on the Internet to see what it had to offer about Netherlands. I was able to discover the following: it’s another place that can be termed ‘sin city’, red light district and prostitution is legal, farming is very prominent and it’s a relatively peaceful city, ranking high in the world. It didn’t sound bad.

Over the weeks, plans for my relocation went in full gear. Obtaining visa was smooth since Popo is a citizen, who worked with law enforcement. Apparently, it’s easier for them to file for children and get good benefits. I wonder what mum told Otunba that made him buy this idea. Parents can be funny at times. The thing you expect them to raise the roof for, would go smoothly while the trivial matters would bring an earthquake. I ensured I was at my best during this period.

When it was a few days to go, I told some friends I was going to Netherlands for a while, to chill. You know, in this part of the world, you never let people in on your plans. There is this fear that they would jeopardize or jinx it. So there was a small send off party for me.

A number of friends including Mimi attended. And my intern, Karelle attended also. You forgot about her? Please don’t. Over the weeks, we have been cool. After work, we would head to different places to hang out. Cactus at Ozumba Mbadiwe to have ice cream, Shaun’s bar for karaoke or a totally random lounge and have shots. Also, like almost everyone who schooled in the states, she drinks a lot, and knows how to drink. Karelle is a foodie. And it annoys me. Why? She’s in the league of people who eat everything they see but nothing shows on their body. She can eat at anytime also, and the more she eats, the flatter her tummy. Unlike me: If I eat at 9pm for 3 consecutive days, I start looking like soaked puff-puff. Well, Otunba is big, so it’s a reflection of his I’m displaying. Thank you, I know he’s not my “birth father”.

On one of those happy-hour days, Karelle and I went to a live band and we were having shots of tequila. When I felt I was getting close to my alcohol elastic limit, I told her I was done. She said ‘take one more, and I’ll kiss you’. To be honest, I’d taken away any other thoughts apart from platonic friendship off my mind, as relating to Karelle. But since it’s an invitation, why not. As I took the shot, she pouted for me to get my kiss. As a sharp guy, I longed forward and just few inches away, this babe used her palm to push my lips away saying “Ashewo kobo kobo’. Arghhhhh! This thing entered my body, deep into my marrows. Na me babe do like this? I laughed it off and more strongly, zeroed my mind and forgot about having anything with her.

On the day of my send forth, she came in a pair of these denim looking leggings, a plaid shirt with some top buttons flying loose, Nike air max and a hat. She wasn’t necessarily looking the hottest but her accent when she spoke got everyone’s attention. All these IJGBs (I just got back) people coming to show themselves. So I was seated on a chair when she walks up to me, and sits on my laps, and starts talking about how she would miss me and wish I would stay longer and the likes. I just hugged her as she was in my laps, and some of my guys went hailing me ‘DJ! Bad guy! Sure boy’. I tried to explain that she was just a colleague and it’s nothing per se and you know the usual response: “Oga, who ask you question?” Karelle then says ‘everyone calls you bad guy and all that. Why didn’t you make a pass at me since’. I deemed that as a question which needed a physical response, not verbal. So I stood her up, and ask that she followed me, so I would explain why.

I had to SHOW her that I only let my slide pass, not that I couldn’t. I found a good spot and tried to be spontaneous by giving her a swift, unexpected kiss. But this babe just turned face away, so my lips landed on her cheeks. ‘This one is not well oh’, I thought. So I put on my seduction skills, and start talking about how fond I am of her, while I stroked her hair, both my hands were on her waist, trying to hug her and kiss her nape. I moved slowly from nape, to cheeks, and then lips. She stayed put. Ehen!!!!! Correct! I was kissing more of lip-gloss though, but I didn’t mind. I planned to really get her in the mood before leaving this corridor for a room.

She’s an excellent kisser. I pulled her so close, enjoying the scent of her perfumes, while she held my head. I stopped abruptly and said ‘follow me’. She obliged. I took her to my room, and as I opened the door, Mimi was on her knees, doing justice to Bimbo. This boy is just mad. The fact that he has access to almost every part of my house doesn’t give him the right to dull my shine. I cussed out on him, closed the door and thought of where to go to. I decided to take her to the boy’s quarters, a building separate from the main house. As we were walking out of the house, guess what?

My girlfriend is in the compound, walking into the main building.

Written by ThAtAfRiCaNkId a very great writer that writes for fun. To inspire, to amuse, or just because he had to write at that moment.