Recently it has come to my attention that doubt has been spread about the best Mister/ Miss among us is.
For that reason I've decided to take on the chore of shedding some light on my 'colleagues'. Today we shall be discussing the next Mister down from me. His name is Mister Gruesome.
Now Mister Gruesome looks relatively similar to me.....with some key differences.
He has no face as I do but his head is tightly wrapped in rusted barbed wire.
And while I wear pristine suits his are a dull brown soaked in blood.
While I am always accompanied by my trusty purple umbrella, he never leaves his realm with out a meat cleaver. Yes, I know how crass but please stick with me.
And last but not least while I have a penchant for hats Mister Gruesome....doesn't.
Now let's discuss his realm shall we?
Have you ever seen an animal hit by the car on the side of the road that's been there awhile? All full of maggots and bloated? Exuding a stench of rot and sorrow? Well that pretty much sums up Mister Gruesome's realm. Tragic but you don't wanna go near it because it looks disgusting. Hmm I guess you could also compare his realm to physical education teachers at this point....perhaps I'll just describe it?
Wet decaying bloody meat everywhere!
Rivers of maggots surging forth to grab those unlucky enough to wander to close.
And a stench that is so terrible that even I hate it and I don't have a nose.
Now the denizens of his realm are odd amalgamated corpses filled with rot and whatever those gasses are human fill with when they die. I hate them and you should never invite them to a dinner party they have a tendency to explode into clouds of rot scented blood mist ruining all linens in the area.
But I digress I'm dragging on at this point and I think you get the picture so I'll leave it at that.
But if anyone is curious to hear more I do have a conversation between he and I that was recorded. So if anyone is interested let me know and I'll share it.
Best Regards,
Mister-Monday
P.s. His catch phrase is Let's get Grusome come on that says it all!
P.p.s. Don't forget it's almost Monday!