I didn’t blog as much as I wanted to this week, and I’m bummed about it.
There is never enough time. I used to tell myself, that’s no excuse, just MAKE time. But making time where there is none takes work and energy and I just don’t have it right now.
Making time means rearranging your schedule, sleeping less, trading one thing for another to free up a little window of opportunity. For example, right now, I could be working on my company’s website, but I chose to write this post instead—because it feels necessary to take a minute to whine, to send up a flare to the rest of this community that I’m trying and probably failing at being as present here as I want to be. Because sometimes a little missive, even one that commiserates, feels more productive than actually working.
My last post was about getting up early in the morning to write and work before my little guy wakes up. I sounded like I had the time balance thing all worked out, didn’t I? Hahahahahaha.
There is a book in me that wants to come out. There is an essay I have to write for a mag that accepted my latest pitch. There is a manuscript in progress by a student of a mine that I should be commenting on; there is a writing retreat that needs to be planned. There is my 100 memoirs project, which I announced three weeks ago but still haven’t completed the first post. When I think about everything that needs doing, I just want to take a protest nap.
(Photo by Flickr user Lucy Maude Ellis, Creative Commons license)
There is also dinner. There is always dinner. All the dinners I have to plan, shop for, prep for, create, clean up after… For someone who loves to cook and eat, I sure am feeling resentful about all the damn dinners.
So, this is just a note to say to anyone out there who is feeling like this, like they can’t possibly complete everything they set out to do and are feeling bad about it: me too. I see you. You aren’t alone. We can do this, just not as perfectly as we’d like sometimes.
And it’s ok to whine a little, too. xoxo