It's always nice to read your thoughts but I'm really sorry to hear you've been frustrated and hating life lately my friend. The positive thing about suffering is that it helps you better appreciate the times when you're not. You deserve to be happy mate and I hope one day you find that happiness. Don't condemn yourself to a life without love if you can avoid it. In order to do your best for the world you need to be physically and mentally healthy yourself so maybe you need some time to rebalance your own life.

I really hope you feel better soon mate.