Thank you so much for posting this. I got triggered last night and reading this helps. When I am triggered I feel like I am losing my mind. How can my mind be so strong and so weak at the same time? And these thoughts don't seem to bother other people making me feel very alone. My life feels so uncertain in many ways right now. Even though I have made much more progress this year than the past few years it still seems so hard sometimes. I think part of the struggle is if it is some kind of choice, then I didn't make that choice before by doing the compulsions because I felt I had no choice for a very long time. So there's guilt and the shame loves to get at me for that, Because there has been times when I have been stronger. Like you I am trying to live more freely but for me right now it is a balance because I can't pretend it doesn't exist either. I like the telemarketing thing you mentioned and idea of reducing behaviours. I am trying to change things but I also feel kind of trapped here. I don't think I'll ever be normal. My goal is to be less stressed, to feel I can manage this existence and not have the OCD get in the way of things I want to do anymore. Glad you found the videos useful. It is weird isn't it? To not logic it out but it fits with what Teal Swan said about OCD and people experiencing OCD have this trauma around complete loss of control and trying to control everything is like avoiding that original state, making it worse or something like that. I think the idea a few people are saying is do not engage. Do not engage with the rabbit hole of what if etc because it creates more stressful thoughts. Hard thing to not do.