The Trauma of First Grade

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In August of 1949, Mother decided it was time for me to begin public schooling. I didn't want to go, but I had no choice. Still being 4 months shy of my 6th birthday, I only wanted to remain in, and near, our house in the country. That, was where I felt most content and safe.

I may have been the most uneducated, unknowledgeable kid to ever enter first grade. After all, we had no electriciy, no water, no plumbing, no radio, no TV, no telephone, no newspapers, no car, no transportation, no neighbors and no friends. My whole life consisted of Mother, my brother, two sisters, our house, land surrounding our house and our family dog, Tony.

So when the bus came to pick up the 4 of us kids, I was absolutely terrified. There were other kids on the bus, but I didn't know how to talk to them. And, I didn't want to talk to them, either. Some of the kids laughed at me because I wouldn't talk. That made me feel bad. Why was Mother being so mean to me by putting me in this situation? Why couldn't I just stay at home with Tony, like I always did

What Do I Do Now?

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When my brother, Selmer, showed me where my classroom was, and shoved me through the door and left, I was again terrified. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood at the front of the class and waited. The kids started laughing. I wanted to go home. I wanted the comfort of Tony by my side. Why do the kids laugh at me when I didn't do anything? I was confused, and I wanted to leave, but I knew I couldn't.

Finally, the teacher took me by the hand and led me to an empty desk. I had never seen a desk before, and wondered what it was used for, besides sitting. Maybe they give us lunch on these little tables.

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Suddenly, a bell rang. It startled me, and scared me at the same time. Not only did I not know what is was, I also didn't know what it was for. My heart raced in fear. Only later did I figure out that the bell was to signify the start of class, and everyone was to be in the classroom by the time the bell rang. I was in a foreign world. Everything was new and different. I didn't like it. I wanted to go home.

Being so frightened of everything, I didn't talk to anyone that day. I just wanted to go home. Teacher asked everyone their name, one by one. I didn't answer. The kids laughed. I got red in the face and felt like crying. But I knew that boys and men don't cry. Only girls and women cry. So, I just sat there.

The end of the day finally came, when the bell rang for the last time. All the kids got up and left. I stayed at my desk, because I didn't know what to do. Teacher came over to me and said I could go. I didn't respond, and just sat there. She left for a few minutes, and returned with my brother. We left and went into the bus.

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The kids in the bus, again laughed at me when I wouldn't talk to them. It had been a miserable day. I had done nothing to hurt them, but the kids laughed and teased me all day. I didn't understand. The world must be mean, I thought. Why do the kids do this to me? I was totally, totally confused and hurt.

When the bus finally stopped at the end of our 1/4 mile long driveway, I felt a sense of relief. The driver opened the door and the first thing I saw was our dog, Tony. He was anxious to see us and was wagging his tail. I jumped off the bus and hugged him with joy. Everything was right with the world again when I saw Tony and our house. The sun is shining brighter, and the birds are chirping louder. I was happy again.

To be continued [My first post](https://steemit.com/book/@fxtrader/would-you-read-this-book-about-my-life-s-experiences-if-i-wrote-it) [My second post](https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@fxtrader/my-life-adventure-pain-wonderment-fear-near-death-experience-lightning-strike-to-head-and-other-oddities) [My Life Begins - I Almost Killed My Mother!! #1](https://steemit.com/jerrybanfield/@fxtrader/my-life-begins-i-almost-killed-my-mother-1) [My Life - Neighbor & Tomato Plants #2](https://steemit.com/life/@fxtrader/my-life-tomato-plants-and-my-first-memory-2) [My Life - A Boy and a BB Gun #3](https://steemit.com/life/@fxtrader/my-life-a-boy-and-a-bb-gun-3) [My - Life a Boy and a BB Gun (continued) #4](https://steemit.com/life/@fxtrader/my-life-a-boy-and-a-bb-gun-continued-4)