@HugMug **Warning: Disturbing Imagery & Language ** 1 The dead phone was now a tightly clutched weapon. Curled up in a box without light had disorientated his sense of time. Noises outside had roused

@HugMug The first alien words ever deciphered by humanity were ‘Fuck, I really need to piss from my arse.’ Linguists were too embarrassed to reveal that the translation - which had won them a nobel prize

In this modest and efficient series, we will put forward a solution to solve many of the world’s major problems by tricking 50,000 psychopaths into entering a Benevolent Evil Psycho Battle To Rescue Humanity.

Most likely you were taught in school that homosexuality was devised shortly after World War II because women became ugly and fat due to all the conquered German pastries they were consuming. In actuality,

People think it’s strange that me and my brother fall asleep hugging. They issued us names because something had to tarnish the blanks on the labour registration. Our bodies had matured to the point we

Screaming. Assassinates silence. Might attract peril. Enemies are still close. They’ll execute me on sight. Who could forgive the burning of their village? Should I take this prisoner back home? Risk of

“Are you wearing underwear?” was the first question they asked. The sense of comfort was fleeting. ‘I’m... not sure.’ was my reply. Part One The onset of summer that year had left me giddy and old-school

@HugMug After my face hit the netting, someone began to smash my head repeatedly into the grassy ground. Most people's reaction would be, ‘Ouch, this hurts. Please make it stop. ' Seoul is a concerete

# 1 --- # 2 Many married men might relish the idea of being able to plonk down on the couch watching TV whilst their penis wandered off to the bedroom to take care of business. The orb spider possesses

The dynamite explosives, procured to involuntarily euthanise the planet's population of Grandmas, were dubbed 'Gran-ite' by the tabloids. Ever since international courts approved the fast food industry`s

‘Smoking no good for healthy.’ These are the words I heard for the 100th time yesterday from another random Vietnamese. The expression on their face was one of concern whilst they believed they were

Da’s first memory was a needle. Closely followed by the three major themes which cratered his early existence: Acute claustrophobia An unshakeable fear that God wanted to dismantle him Involuntary sponge

Sperm piracy, virgin births, incest and stabbings. No, not a synopsis of the new Game Of Thrones episode, but a taster into the lives of kinky insects. See Part One HERE Sperm Pirates ‘Give and take’ is

Sperm piracy, virgin births, incest and stabbings. No, not a synopsis of the new Game Of Thrones episode, but a taster into the lives of kinky insects. Dagger Penis Imagine if female humans not only had

‘Snails caught discussing stilettos or moustaches will have their shells repossessed and be reclassified as slugs.’ barked the Government loudspeaker. ‘Retract inside your homes or we will deploy the salt

WARNING: This article contains naughty words and controversial opinions used for comedic effect. I split an earlier article into separate parts as it was too long. Apologies to people who previously read

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I have been an idiot for most of my life. It is highly probable that I have been an idiot for the entirety of my life, but since I can't remember the baby years it'd be arrogant of me to brag about a full,