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Impractical Juggler
@i-juggler
55
Juggler, Writer, Philosopher, Occasional Crazy Person, and Professional Beard Owner
Followers
529
Following
223
Resource Credits
Available
Used
Location
Somewhere on Urf
Created
September 25, 2017
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i-juggler
life
2018-12-14 12:55
Polar Opposite, Same As Me
The next couple days flew by. It was like I was floating on a cloud. It feels so relieving to have something to look forward to. When I was younger, I would always have a crush; someone who I would long
$ 0.024
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i-juggler
life
2018-12-13 21:16
Meeting a Man
Something has happened. Something amazing. I can’t even. I met a man. I’m bursting just writing that. His name is Marty. I haven’t stopped smiling since we started talking at the Funk n Waffle. We clicked
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i-juggler
life
2018-12-12 21:05
A Lack of Support
I got a bag today from a support group for people with mood disorders. It was lime green and had the word “Humana” on it. I did not know what it meant , but it suits me: like human, but not quite. (I later
$ 0.103
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i-juggler
life
2018-12-11 14:46
A Step Forward
How rapidly the tides change. I am ecstatic. I feel incredible! I finally did it. I finally broke out of my shell and let myself be free. I had sex with a man. It felt incredible, and it has made my mind
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i-juggler
life
2018-12-08 21:46
Perspective of Pain
I tossed and turned all night, unable to find any peace of mind. I wound up crying a bit, as I had done earlier yesterday. I feel so undesirable. Not only am I on the verge of homelessness; I am a reject
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i-juggler
blog
2018-12-07 15:40
Touched By A Stranger
It’s now Saturday night. Something happened. I feel embarrassed writing about it, but at the same time I’m not. There was a big push in the cult to teach us that there is no shame. At least that’s what
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i-juggler
life
2018-12-06 14:33
Trapped in My Head
It’s Saturday, and I have been alone for most of the day. I’m mostly reflecting while being productive. I keep trying to push myself to do more but my mind keeps wandering. I wanted to go for a walk, but
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i-juggler
life
2018-12-05 13:50
The Healing Begins
My friend and fellow juggler, Lawrence, has let me stay at his place with my two other friends, Sean and Robb. I just got back upstairs after having a slice of pizza. I’m crying because of it. It’s such
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i-juggler
life
2018-12-04 17:02
Start of a Journey
As of a few hours ago, I am homeless. I am sitting at the local Mini Mart, trying to figure out my next move. I’m messaging people, and waiting to hear back from a friend I trust. Worst case scenario,
$ 10.297
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i-juggler
life
2018-08-23 13:45
Rebirth and Reawakening
Yesterday, I took four hits of LSD. The experience was more than I could possibly put into words. It was easily one of the most transformative experiences of my life. I will attempt to unravel some of
$ 0.146
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i-juggler
lgbt
2018-08-20 22:24
Denial
What is truth when there are lies To hide the world behind these eyes? Can’t admit; denial never quits Will never answer: who is it? What is the nature of this creature That feels as its dominant feature?
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i-juggler
blog
2018-08-17 22:22
Stepping out of my comfort zone
Today, I stepped out of my comfort zone. My intent was to go to the civic center downtown, apply for the benefits I need, and then go get my long-overdue permit at the DMV. I accomplished about 75% of
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i-juggler
life
2018-08-16 18:52
Stream of Consciousness 6: Ripping off the Band Aid
I need to love myself before I can love anyone else. For so long, I’ve craved to be with another person. Ever since my first crush in 6th grade, I have been obsessive over finding love. I needed to fill
$ 0.139
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i-juggler
religion
2018-08-16 01:00
Jesus has a voice
It sounds like this: "Thump thump Thump thump Thump thump."
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i-juggler
blog
2018-08-14 14:15
Walking a Tightrope
I used to run track. I was pretty good at it. I won most of the time, and regularly put up impressive times. I owe much of my success to my ability to ignore my pain. I could dissociate in the moment and
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i-juggler
blog
2018-08-13 19:15
Stream of Consciousness Journal 5: Resurrection
Today I went busking in my hometown of Syracuse again. This is the first time I've done this since I was taken advantage of by that cult, Earth Nation/Love Cycle. It was particularly nerve-wracking because
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i-juggler
life
2018-08-12 20:04
Waking Up From Depression
I have schizophrenia. Along with the super fun delusions that the CIA is beaming thoughts in my head to get a sex change, I regularly oscillate from one extreme mood to the other. Some days, I am literally
$ 0.324
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i-juggler
lgbt
2018-08-11 15:02
God wants me to get a sex change
Last night I was browsing Reddit as my brain started to shut off in preparation for romping through dream space. As I refreshed the page, an ad caught my attention. This is somewhat unusual, as I’m conditioned
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i-juggler
blog
2018-08-10 18:56
Fear and Loathing
I’ve been afraid most of my life. There’s a story to this. My mother had AIDS and died when I was 9. My father was abusive, in more ways than one. I was routinely picked on as the weird kid, which admittedly,
$ 2.724
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i-juggler
poem
2018-08-08 14:05
Ghostly Fetters
A clear sky is blue But what clouds will do Stain the heavens Rain comes from seven Scars on the arm Marred is my charm No second look Worse than a crook Seen as a freak Have to be meek Otherwise worse
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