Because I am a music prophet, I am predicting the superstardom of Peter McPoland.

The world seems insane right now, doesn't it? This dumb little barely-living creature is killing everyone and another big dumb barely-thinking creature is in charge of the world's largest nuclear stockpile.

Sex controls the world. That's not even a controversial opinion. It's been known since the first Cro-Magnon man decided to go out and do something insane in the hopes of impressing a cute little Neanderthal

I have the answer. It’s pretty simple really. Because normal people don’t want to deal with the giant sack of cow-shit that is “politics” and “public relations.” Let’s better define our terms: People Running

Ok. She did that thing with her voice where it goes up. That "bet you won't believe the way this story about shirts turns out" tone. That means she's almost done. Maybe like, two, or at most

Every person here on Steem wants to have many a lot Steemits! If you have fewer Steemits and want more Steemits, SteemSteem maybe is definitely the best and good decision for everyone unless you are an

I wish the guy who invented hats had perished as a child in The Great Plague, or the Cretaceous-Paleogene Extinction Event, or the big flood thing where the guy in the giant boat with the animal twinsies

My aunt saw this and thought it was seditious, so the village censor made me remove it. Feel free to remove your upvote as well. I apologize for any inconvenience.

Your mom always leaves my office all sweaty and out of breath, because she is part of a group of volunteers taking part in our FDA mandated experimentation which requires daily incremental pulse rate increases

What is this? No, seriously what the hell is this? A Sushi roll? For real? That’s what you’re going with? You’re gonna really try to justify that? Wow. Umm, yes, there certainly is a problem. See, I ordered

Hey funnel face. Yeah, I am talking to you. What are you gonna do about it? Rotate me? Knock over my patio furniture? You think you can just come around all whirly-twirly, like some kind of silly little

You only use a disclaimer on your posts because you’re too much of a pansy to straight up make a real prediction, and you know all the idiots will follow what you say anyway. It’s the perfect way to make

If you need pictures with your content, the children’s bookstore is thataway. We all know that Steem and Steemit and everything associated with it is, in large part, a way to make money. People who just

Whales got Lucky. It had nothing to do with their “hard work” or their “skills.” There is only one statistically significant explanation for how and why the people who make money trading or “investing”

Motivational advice tends to be dripping with positive happy sentiments and feel-good rah-rah which probably works for children and people who have a generally happy disposition all the time anyway. But

Check. Check one. Sibilance. Sibilance. Nominating: @benleemusic (because the guy is a legitimate rockstar and actually personally interacts with regular people on Steemit and seems to be a genuine nice

“Liss-Ten Pee-Opal to My Chih-Hooah-Hooah Bark.” Those are my weirdest ones. Do you do this or am I putting way too many powdered things up my nose for my brain to function properly? And have you ever

Expect to be called “Waffle-Face” or “Ugly Idiot” or “Your Parents Didn’t Love You Guy.” A list: Your waffle head makes my face want to throw up and the only thing I’ve eaten all day is a waffle and it

I invited Bitcoin over last night for a little Netflix and Chill (because I thought that it was a bit too presumptuous to invite him over for Hulu and Anal). The problem started when I realized his breath

[Picture of Jay Riemenschneider Unavailable]