Introduction

The intention of this post is to share my personal experience of anxiety and three concepts that, with practice I've found helpful in managing my own mental health; Flow, Meditation, and Objectivity. I initially shared these concepts by writing a song called 'Fear Anxiety'. With this write-up, I aim to share these ideas in detail with the hope that they can be useful to anyone experiencing anxiety, or simply to anyone that is interested in alternative ways to maintain a resilient and balanced state of mental health.

My Experience

I have experienced anxiety in what I consider two separate forms;
- *'Everyday anxiety'*; exists just under the surface having subtle impact on my state of mind. - *'Out-of-control anxiety'*; can begin as everyday anxiety then manifests as a panic attack. It is worth differentiating between the two, because in my opinion most people would have experienced to different degrees the first form and less the second. As a result, there can sometimes be less empathy shown towards a person that is having a panic attack. Fortunately, the discussion of mental health is becoming normalised and these sort of misunderstandings are less common. However, for the purpose of this article it's worth noting the different forms as it is helpful when explaining how I've used the below practices to manage my own mental health.
My first experience of panic attacks occurred over a month during my first year at high school. My recollection of these attacks is still clear today. Each time one occurred it seemed to be triggered by a normal fear or worry. The fear would continue to grow, surpassing any reasonable response to the initial trigger. I knew at the time the magnitude of fear was irrational, but I had not way to alleviate the anxious feelings apart from simply waiting it out.
On one occasion, being aware that I was having a panic attack I thought that screaming would help relieve the anxiety. I went outside my house and yelled into thin air. I recall feeling no better for it, but maybe that was my first attempt at self-help. My parents arranged for me to visit our family doctor and, rather than give me meds, he sent me to the high school counselor. Since then I've had one serious panic attack whilst living in Melbourne a few years ago.
Whilst I haven't had any serious panic attacks for many years, I still experience mild anxiety most days. I now have a few methods that I use to manage this anxiety. These methods I consider as my three tools to maintaining my mental health. I've never used these tools while experiencing a panic attack, as I have only seriously practiced and understood them more recently.
I believe that through practicing meditation, as well as having a better understanding of my own psychology I've been able to maintain more stable mental health. I believe that this has reduced the chance of my everyday anxiety manifesting into panic attacks. I describe these tools below with the hope that by sharing them others can mold them into their own tools to better manage their mental health. They should by no means be considered medical advice but are simply concepts that I've tried and found helpful through my own anecdotal experience.

❛If we're living life without experiencing Flow,
then we're likely bored or frustrated,
which can manifest into anxiety❜

❶ Flow

Flow is a concept by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi that I have learnt from reading his book, 'Flow : The Psychology of Optimal Experience'. Typically, we experience flow in moments when we are 'in the zone'; so engrossed in an activity that we may feel like we've lost track of time. The book describes from a scientific perspective the fundamentals of how we can arrange our daily activities so that they are conducive to a flow state, resulting in greater enjoyment and ultimately more happiness. Whilst it is primarily focused on the psychology of flow, it also explains that the opposite state of flow is a state of anxiety. By understanding and applying what is conducive to a flow state of mind, I find that I can structure my activities to maximize time spent 'in the zone', which minimises time spent feeling anxious.

The book explains that in moments of flow the mind reaches a state of neural coherence and as a result we experience a sense of cognitive ease or enjoyment. Activities like reading, surfing, and playing an instrument are examples of common pursuits that are conducive to flow. However, a flow activity can be any pursuit that you may consider your passion. The simplest way to achieve a flow state is through the pursuit and achievement of targeted goals within our flow activities. The activity needs to be structured so that it is not too difficult that we feel frustrated or anxious due to its complexity, but not so easy that we become bored. Progress also needs to be easily measurable so that we receive feedback as to how we're tracking.

A simple example of a flow activity for me is surfing. If the waves are small and fat I can catch a lot of them, but because there is no challenge I'll get bored. If the waves are big and hollow then I'll find them difficult to catch. I'll be anxious to catch a wave and out of control when I'm riding it, which may cause fear. To maximize my enjoyment while surfing I know that a mid-sized wave of around 3 feet is generally what will give me the most enjoyment. For my level of skill this wave size allows me to find the balance between challenge and progress. A basic measure of progress is wave count, or perhaps how many turns I make before coming off a wave. As my skill level improves, I need to increase the challenge by adjusting the activity. I could do this by targeting progressively bigger surf or choosing a more higher performance surfboard. Surfing is a simple example of a flow activity, but this idea of structuring an activity around flow can be applied to any pursuit.

The concept of flow is fairly simple, right? However, if we are living life without experiencing flow, then we are likely bored or frustrated, which can manifest itself as anxiety. I could describe an example of this that occurs on days when I have no plans. I'm likely sitting at home not engaged in thought or activity. I quickly tend to feel anxious as my mind defaults to worrying about the next problem to solve or some meaningless insecurity that I have. Without the distraction of flow our thoughts tend to become chaotic and the inevitable result of this incoherence in mind is anxiety. By structuring our passions/hobbies/jobs around the concept of flow, we can maximise our enjoyment and reduce the likelihood that we will experience anxiety.

On the flip-side, for a balanced life it's important to consider downtime to rest, reflect and regather ourselves. Constantly applying ourselves to our flow activities would likely cause burnout. However, from my experience downtime does not need to be empty time. Activities that are relatively passive but still engaging like reading, meditation or going for a nature walk satisfy my need for down time and are re-energising rather than taxing.
In 2017 I traveled around Australia living out of my van. For the majority of the trip I traveled on my own and focused this time on the pursuit of flow. The seven month trip was focused on developing my surfing, music writing, and music playing. All these activities are what I consider my flow activities and are in effect what I consider as my meditations as well. I set myself two goals that were related to surfing and music;
- *Ride out of a barrel on my surfboard.*
- *Write and record an EP of six songs.* Sounds pretty simple huh? Unfortunately, I never successfully surfed out of a barrel, but the pursuit of this took me on 90+ surfs at some of Australia's most epic surf breaks. I ended up completing my acoustic EP, 'Silence in the Solitude', which provided me with a huge amount of enjoyment and fulfillment. Without having these two goals to focus on I don't think I could have done that trip, as spending so much time traveling alone could have easily led to some sort of mental health breakdown. The positive takeaway was learning how to be content in my own company and how to better fill my time with meaningful and engaging activity.
I have also discovered that my everyday anxiety can be utilised or gamed as a motivator by applying the concept of flow to lift myself out of anxiety. If the result of being in flow is enjoyment, then we reward ourselves each time we get into flow. On occasion in my previous job I noticed that through basic goal setting and task management I could flip back and forth between feeling a low level anxiety and being in flow. Short, clearly defined and manageable tasks seemed to provide the best feeling of reward for time spent. The result was a prolonged burst of productivity and also enjoyment.

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❛an anxious mind is one of chaos,
which is the opposite state of mind
that results from meditation❜

❷ Meditation

Meditation is becoming popularised as western societies realise that a regular practice can improve focus, productivity and mental health. It's now common to come across numerous groups promoting their method and teachings; most of which have spiritual origins in ancient religions and cultures. Meditation methods can range from basic 30-second mindfulness exercises to 60 day isolation retreats. As a ten-year-old I was introduced to a method called Transcendental Meditation (TM) that is taught as a non-religious method but has its origins in Hinduism. I've found that regular practice of TM reduces my sensitivity to external stress, leading to a more relaxed state of mind and reduced anxiety.
TM is a mantra-based meditation practiced as a twice-daily routine of 20-minute sessions. It can be done anywhere and in whatever seated position is comfortable. Often I'll meditate while sitting on an airplane or in a bus. To people around me it would just appear as if I'm asleep. The type of mantra used in TM is an individual word that is repeated in thought or under the breath. Typically, the teacher will provide the student with a personalised mantra. It is recommended to the student that they keep their mantra secret.
Having learnt TM at such a young age I initially didn't gain a full understanding of its potential benefits. As a result I did not make meditation a routine until the last four years. My initial use of the practice was sporadic. I remember occasionally doing one session here and there during university if I felt stressed. However, over the last four years of regular use I've experienced that I get a longer-lasting benefit in regular practice compared to sporadic meditation.
The effects of meditation for me are primarily mental. Regular meditation provides a feeling that I'm building up a bank of relaxation energy that my mind and body uses throughout the day. The more regular the practice, the greater the bank builds and the longer the relaxation and focus lasts during the day. My state of mind is more resilient and less sensitive to external stimuli that may otherwise cause negative states like anxiety. In my opinion, the flip-side of this is that meditation can equally dampen the highs of positive emotions. I would liken the effects of meditation to a waveform as if the highs and lows of the wave were our emotions. Regular meditation results in shallower troughs and lower peaks.
Another mental effect that meditation gives me is to have a greater appreciation for the beauty of everyday things that I would normally overlook. This could also be described as experiencing mindfulness. For example, if I were to go for a walk after meditating I may look at the leaves on a tree and feel inclined to stop, just to observe them in detail. The calmness of mind allows me to easily see beauty in simplicity. Everyday objects can become much more interesting and by simply observing them I can gain enjoyment. I would associate this ease of enjoyment as being that of experiencing the state of flow. According to the concept of flow; the more time we spend in flow the less time we feel anxious. Therefore, the ease of enjoyment that meditation can bring can help to reduce anxious feelings.
In addition to effects that TM has on the mind, I also find that it affects me in a physical sense. Over a typical 20 minute session I will feel my head start to buzz with energy, becoming slightly tight with a feeling of concentrated energy at a central point in the front of my head. If I've had a long period of uninterrupted focus on my mantra it will feel like my body is slowly slipping with each repeated mantra deeper and deeper into the space beneath me. I begin to lose sense of the rest of my body and my entire sense of being is felt as a single location in the middle of my head. Perhaps this is the 'oneness' description that is commonly associated with meditation.
To get to this state requires consistent focus on repeating the mantra. However, it's normal to become distracted, as random thoughts often drift into consciousness on their own accord. According to the TM method, in these moments we should return our focus to the mantra. However, I find that if I meditate on a problem or idea then a solution can appear with much less effort than it would seemingly take in my usual awake state of mind. I would compare this sort of problem-solving to that which sometimes occurs in our dreams or sleep state. You may have woken up during the night and found yourself experiencing a eureka moment. From my experience, similar resolution of problems or ideas occurs by meditating on a thought. I believe that meditation provides sufficient clarity of mind to allow us to tap into the sub-conscious part of the brain, where much of our problem-solving and creativity occurs.
The below table compares various popular meditation methods to show how accessible they are with respect to costs and time required to practice. I believe that these are the main factors that may prevent someone from committing to learning a technique.
Method | Duration to Learn | Ongoing Daily Practice | Approximate Cost ------------ | ------------- | -------------- | --------------- 1 Giant Mind app | 30 day x 15 min | 15 min | Free Headspace app | 10 day x 5 min | 5 min| Free trial TM | 4 day x 2 hr | 2 x 20 min | Approx $1.5k Vedic Meditation | 4 day x 2 hr | 2 x 20 min | Approx $1k Vipassana Retreat | 10 days | 1-2 hrs | By donation
Vedic Meditation is basically a re-branded version of TM, and is slightly less cost from my understanding. A typical 10 day Vipassana course is something that I am considering trying, however the time commitment is hard for me to get my head around at this stage. The apps are easily accessible but I have had friends that have used them without building any serious habit around their methods. Perhaps the easy-come easy-go principle may describe this failure to build routine. Spending a bit of money to have face-to-face teaching may help to put a greater value on a method, resulting in more respect for the practice and ultimately a greater chance of turning the practice into habit. The costs of TM and Vedic Meditation appear at first glance to be expensive, but from my experience benefiting from TM I would personally say that it's a great investment.
Meditation is a simple practice that we can use to declutter the mind, and improve focus. An anxious mind is one of chaos, which is the opposite state of mind of meditation. I have benefited immensely from practicing TM, but from my experience the true benefits only come when it is practiced regularly. During my solo trip around Australia, I often felt fear when I was about to begin a long drive somewhere remote. A morning routine of meditation helped me to stay objective and not let fear become irrational.
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❛He then pictures himself opening
the front door to receive the anxiety
as a guest into his house❜

❸ Objectivity

Objectivity, when used as a thought exercise can be helpful in managing negative emotions and improving mental health. To be objective is to consider a situation as separate from the influences of your own subjective emotions or self. I've found that a simple exercise in objective thought can help me to reduce my anxiety. The feeling that I get is that the anxiety dissolves away and I can go back to my activity. Objective thought can also be used to observe any emotion or craving, and the exercise is commonly applied in various techniques of meditation that I have tried.
I listened to a podcast where the interviewee described a method of objective thinking that he used for managing his anxiety. When he begins to feel anxious, he imagines his body as a physical house. He imagines a home from above, and that he is looking down upon the home. He then pictures himself opening the front door to receive the anxiety as a guest into his house. He lets the anxiety exist in his home briefly, then calmly lets the anxiety out the backdoor and into the garden.
This exercise has the effect of viewing the anxiety objectively, which decouples it from your body and allows the anxious feeling to dissipate. Rather than running from the anxiety (which exacerbates it), doing the opposite by accepting its presence we can empower and liberate ourselves. I use this exercise whenever I feel anxious and find that it helps me to control these anxious feelings. I describe this little trick through lyrics in the song where I mention that I've found a solution to fear/anxiety 'within objectivity'.
Although this example of objective thinking is basic, objectivity is rooted in Buddhist philosophy. The religion considers that the alleviation of any suffering can be made by objectively observing our emotions. As well as being helpful for managing everyday anxiety, it can be used to manage our full range of emotions. Try applying the above method the next time you have a craving for something simple like a sweet food and see if it alleviates the craving.

Conclusion

Through learning and practicing flow, meditation and objectivity I now have an improved understanding of how I can better manage my mental health. You could argue that these three practices are only 'band-aid' solutions to anxiety. Perhaps a more robust approach would be to focus our attention on solving fundamental causes. But, the individual experiencing anxiety needs an immediate solution, and that is where these tools can help.

Further Reading/Learning

*Below is a list of resources that I have found helpful in my pursuit of improved mental health*

Books

- Thinking Fast and Slow - Daniel Kahneman - Flow - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - The Art of Living - Thich-Nhat-Hanh - Mans Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl

Podcasts

- What Buddhism got right about the human brain - The Ezra Klein Show

Websites

- https://www.tm.org/