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swenger
@swenger
59
Followers
995
Following
207
Resource Credits
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Used
Location
Pennsylvania, United States
Created
2017-05-13 19:05
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swenger
punchline
2018-06-19 18:30
When I'm the 12th person in line at the grocery store, and they open another register at the other end of the store.
source: When I'm the 12th person in line at the grocery store, and they open another register at the other end of the store.
$ 2.677
24
2
swenger
punchline
2018-06-19 11:51
If BTC can just break through this Resistance Line, it'll go to the moon.... Never mind.
source: If BTC can just break through this Resistance Line, it'll go to the moon.... Never mind.
$ 0.192
5
swenger
punchline
2018-06-18 19:30
Just as I finally start to get the hang of this crypto trading business...
source: Just as I finally start to get the hang of this crypto trading business, and have almost recovered my losses from the last drop...
$ 0.111
3
swenger
punchline
2018-06-18 12:11
When you see that your pay increase at work doesn't even cover the increase in health insurance premiums.
source: When you see that your pay increase at work doesn't even cover the increase in health insurance premiums.
$ 5.373
25
6
swenger
punchline
2018-06-18 00:28
When you are excited that Argentina and Brazil are both held to a tie...
source: When you are excited that Argentina and Brazil are both held to a tie, then you remember your country failed to make the World Cup.
$ 0.180
3
1
swenger
punchline
2018-06-17 22:21
Since Father's Day and Mother's Day are two big card giving days...
source: Since Father's Day and Mother's Day are two big card giving days, and neither "Not a Father Day" nor "Not a Mother Day" are days celebrated with card giving, isn't it ironic
$ 0.173
5
1
swenger
punchline
2018-06-17 11:14
Every rental car after I return it.
source: Every rental car after I return it.
$ 5.244
22
3
swenger
punchline
2018-06-16 12:35
If a drunk driver hits a lady on her way to the abortion clinic...
source: If a drunk driver hits a lady on her way to the abortion clinic, and she has a miscarriage, would he be charged with vehicular manslaughter by the lady, or theft of services by the abortion clinic?
$ 3.144
10
4
swenger
punchline
2018-06-16 11:30
Filling up the beer bong for Andre the Giant.
source: Filling up the beer bong for Andre the Giant.
$ 2.933
20
3
swenger
punchline
2018-06-15 13:48
Ripped from the headlines- "5 Injured in Shooting at California Funeral Home"
source: Ripped from the headlines- "5 Injured in Shooting at California Funeral Home". All I can say for the funeral home director is "Location, location, location." Also surprising
$ 6.008
22
5
swenger
punchline
2018-06-15 12:32
Sexual Misconduct Allegations Coverage
source: I just received an email from our Insurance agent at work, with the memo line "Sexual Misconduct Allegations Are Rampant: Do You Have Proper Coverage?" I assume it is promoting a seminar
$ 0.296
10
2
swenger
memechallenge
2018-06-14 15:53
Memechallenge #73- Entry 1
$ 0.101
3
swenger
punchline
2018-06-14 15:00
World Cup Soccer prediction
source: I predict that during Switzerland's first game of the World Cup Soccer tournament, when the medics are called to attend to an injured player, Switzerland will be flagged for too many men on the
$ 3.146
21
1
swenger
punchline
2018-06-14 13:08
My response when I tell someone I write comedy material, and they tell me to say something funny
source: My response when I tell someone I write comedy material, and they tell me to say something funny.
$ 3.336
9
1
swenger
comedyopenmic
2018-06-14 11:52
Right after you think cryptos have bottomed out and are ready to retrace
source: Right after you think cryptos have bottomed out and are ready to retrace.
$ 0.888
14
6
swenger
punchline
2018-06-13 14:38
Me, trying to use my Sensitivity Class training
source: Me, trying to use my Sensitivity Class training.
$ 6.160
21
4
swenger
comedyopenmic
2018-06-13 13:03
McDonalds coming to North Korea?
source: Rumor has it that the trade deal between the US and North Korea will include McDonalds franchises. There will be slight menu alterations, such as the "McPet Nuggets".
$ 0.731
12
8
swenger
punchline
2018-06-13 11:59
Just shoot me.
source: My dad is in a nursing home battling alzheimers, parkinson's and dementia. I went to visit him last night as he finished supper. The nurse's aid was brushing away all the crumbs that had fallen
$ 0.278
8
2
swenger
punchline
2018-06-12 18:40
Stand up comedy class tonight
source: There is a free "Stand up Comedy" class in my area tonight. The class is "designed to make you funnier" according to the advertisement. I think I'll show up 15 minutes late
$ 3.282
23
4
swenger
punchline
2018-04-11 13:44
When BTC finally starts to make a move up!
source: When BTC finally starts to make a move up!
$ 12.266
16
6
