Self-reporting on twitter is now not as rewarding as it used to make me feel.

To even begin writing stuff that my mind perceives to be 'monetize' worthy on platforms that don't offer such thing is sooo hard now.

I can actually feel my hands almost literally being held back while trying to express myself on twitter.

I thought, why would I write anything on twitter for free when I could try to do the same thing other platforms with the higher chance of getting paid?.

Now, why wouldn't I just do it?.

Instead of complaining, why wouldn't I just start writing here?.

Well, the fact that everything you put up can be monetized, it also means it's up for harsh judgment.

According to @brandonfrye 's tips I saw on youtube, it is best not to post too often as it could be seen as spamming.

And treating WordPress-like platform as I treat the likes of twitter is to be doing just that; asking to be blocked.

Blocked or down-voted till my work is disappeared.

As a person who's struggling with a mental condition that renders me almost unable to focus and be organized, living in a country with collective mental health awareness and such health-system that are not as ideal as in the west, makes it almost impossible for me to get proper medication.

And trying to get things done while having ADHD that's severe as mine without the proper med? writing a simple paragraph can be as tough as climbing the Mt. Everest.

I knooow that's not the most suiting analogy but I hope the dramatization helps me to convey how hard it is.

And the fear of being perceived as somewhat annoying and spammy when I really wanna do well here doesn't help either. It only contributes more to induce anxiety; therefore a 'permission' for my body to retreat.

The idea of treating steemit like Twitter;micro-blogging occurred when I was reminiscing the early days of Twitter in Indonesia and how regular people became celeb-tweets and when Instagram came about, became full time social media persons.

And I hope I could do just that here while trying to get my hands on the medications and treatments that I need.

I mean, if was able to focus as well as people who doesn't have this condition or at least as well as people with ADHD that's not severe as mine, I would produce contents, proper contents more frequently.

Well, if my micro-blogs become annoying, please tell me nicely.