The best thing about microwaving an Owl is that you can maintain eye contact for the full five minutes..

Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary. If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.................

"An unknown Spanish man has reported his motor stolen It sounds to me like Carlos".

Pretend to be a skilled pharmacist by taking half an hour to put some tablets in a bag.

The only thing flat-earthers fear ….... is sphere itself.

James Bond used to take Viagra. Apparently it made him Roger Moore.................

"Alligators can live up to 200 years… Which is why there’s a good chance that they will see you later."

Political satire for my British followers "Today is Prime Minister Day. May the Turd."

"My friend Phillip had his lip removed. We just call him Phil now."

TOP TIP FIND OUT how loud your partner can scream by waking them up on an aeroplane flight wearing your life jacket and oxygen mask.

A man goes to his psychiatrist. "Doctor, you've got to help me," he says. "I keep thinking that I'm a well-known psychoanalyst." "How long has this been going on?" asks the

More from the world of crap jokes...... A man walks into doctor's office."What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's... um... well... I have five penises," replies the man.

Another crap joke... "So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

Me and my wife were on the sofa last night, getting all hot and steamy. She whispered in my ear "Shall we take this upstairs"? I replied "Go on then, you grab this end and I'll get the

Another crap joke for you, this time feline based I've been paying £2 a month to the Cats Protection League for over a year. I missed 2 payments and they've just been round and broken my cat’s legs.

This blog is dedicated to collecting some of the crappest jokes ever created for your enjoyment. Today a little poem. "Roses are expensive And so is our marriage That's why you get flowers Fresh from

This blog is dedicated to discovering the worlds best crap jokes "I have just been attacked by someone with a power tool. I was walking down the road next thing....... bosch"

This blog is dedicated to finding the best worst jokes on the planet. "My younger brother is an example of what can happen to people who get involved in drugs......an Audi Q7 & his own house by

"My hallucinating isn't getting any better - I thought I saw a sausage fly past my window, but it was actually a seabird. I think I've taken a tern for the wurst....."

This blog is devoted to discovering the best bad jokes from across the globe! "My wife suggested we spice up our sex lives with 'doctors and nurses' role play. So I put her on a trolley and ignored