Greetings. P.O.Tassium here with a major report, ready to peel away the untruths surrounding a grievous situation.
After many sad instances of banana deaths due to suffocation, I called for a crack team to find out what was going on. Since we don't have a crack team on the Banana Memos staff, I did the research myself.
Apparently there is an internet-fueled craze to slow down the ripening of bananas by wrapping their stems in plastic wrap.
Yes, that's right. The recommended procedure involves plastic wrap.
Aack! gasp! We're trying to breathe! Plastic is deadly!
(And, btw, bananas are supposed to ripen.)
Not only that, but a doubly-cruel practice is being advised: "Separate the bananas and wrap each stem individually."
What?! Then not only are we suffocating, but it's happening without the comfort of our fellow bananas by our side!
I'm sorry; being the old newshound that I am, I'm usually a little more objective. But this is seriously upsetting.
After further digging (because, let's face it, you can usually find corroboration for anything you want on the internet), I came across this genius kitchen scientist who ran two separate trials to see if the plastic wrrap thing really worked.
Her conclusion: No. It does not.
This is good news for bananas everywhere, as we definitely...
- don't like to be smothered with plastic right where we're trying to breathe; and
- don't want to be separated from our bunchmates until absolutely necessary.
Bananas ~ and Friends of Bananas everywhere ~ Rejoice!
That's it from here. Tassium, over and out.
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