Without saying adieu,
because we just started...
Without further ado,
I present to you
A winning pun or two
I have to do two because "two" rhymes with "you" and "ado", but luckily they both come from the same entrant, thus I am spared the agony of too many upvotes. Like death by more than ten paper cuts a day.
For your pun comments in the 2nd EVER Pun Contest: https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/new-pun-contest-and-announcing-pun-contest-winners-prizes-worth-ones-of-cents
Your pun entries. Your puntries. Pentries?
To be entirely honest, 
Why?
Is there a bigger font than that?
That's better.
Why indeed?
Is it because I like the user's name?
-going to the page...
HOLY SMOKES. (make you cough piously)
It would have been if I had known. But I didn't know. Welcome to the world of Brendans, Brendan.
Is it because I now see that he features images of meat on his page?
No, as I pointed out a moment ago, I am just now visiting his page.
THEN WHY?
and also, why the second pun over the first?
- Unexpectedness - I didn't know how he was going to weave together smoking and Starbucks. I should have guessed, but I didn't, so he wins at brain-foolin'. Extra points for avoiding the word "coffee" until the punch line.
- It's definitely about coughing. No doubt in my mind that this was a cough pun.
- It rags on something I'm happy to rag on, namely the effects of cigarettes. Confession, I used to smoke. Not a lot, but more than none. Now I don't. I had pneumonia. Not from the cigarettes, though that surely didn't help, it was a freaky thing that put me in the hospital for ten days. (HUMOR) And now, by doctor's orders, I can never smoke again (smoked meat is still acceptable, though).
- He explained at least one of his puns. You know I like that by now. If you don't, see my first contest announcement post!
If you think you can't pun, you're wrong
Easy to follow instructions if you follow this link (not one of the link sausages that I just saw on Brendan's page).
https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties
Special Mentions
Getting to know Brendan
(today's winner, not me)
Send me a link to a post you especially want me to upvote, Brendan! If that is your real name.
Getting to know Brendan
(me, not today's winner)
Don't over-think it, because I don't even know myself, but I think I feel even more inclined to choose puns that are entirely unexpected. That's probably not true. Sometimes I can see a joke coming a mile away, and I love it even more for that.
Hm. What am I trying to say?
NO LAZY PUNS.
I also don't like sexist or racist puns. They're lazy tropes that are untrue. Truth makes me laugh. That's why I like the smokers' cough one. Cough one sounds like coffin. Lung disease kills. COMEDY.
I also don't like talking about what I don't like, but I thought it was only fair to tell you.
That's it.
This week's word is
I want to point out that my brain immediately jumps to Star Wars, and you should feel absolutely free to make Star Wars puns.
Here's the example. DON'T USE IT.
If Harrison Ford had played a character who used the force to cut hair and regale them with joyful Russian nonsense, he'd be
Salon Trolo
(for reference: )
See, it's funny because Salon and Han rhyme and Trolo and Solo rhyme, and Han Solo doesn't even use the force, but if he did, to suggest that such a rascal would simply use it for hair-cutting instead of, like, smuggling and stuff, is silly and also it's funny because that guy singing is just so joyous. The consummate performer.
GIVE ME YOUR PUNS AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY UPVOTES.
Now I'll say "adieu" for the nonce. Adieu.