Some men, like me, never go in the kitchen. It's a mysterious place full of noises and smells that is the source all that delicious food your wife serves you. But what happens if you wake up in the middle of the night dying for food?

This little trick will show you how you can make a delicious fried-egg sandwich without any help. It's a lot easier than you might think.

Not hungry yet? This might tempt you:

The first task you may face is finding the kitchen. Now this isn't a problem for most men. It's usually next to the living room, and you can't miss it. But in case you live in a very large house, like Buckingham Palace, you may have to go hunting a bit. Remember - it's the middle of the night so there are no kitchen noises to guide you and you can't ask anyone. They're all asleep. For the sake of this exercise, I will assume you know how to find the kitchen.

Ingredients

Before you start, it's good to gather all the required ingredients. There's nothing worse than being half way through making a fried-egg sandwich and discovering that you are missing one of the vital ingredients, like an egg, or the bread. You may think that's daft - but read on. It happened to me.

Here are the ingredients you will need:
Bread
An egg
A bread-knife and bread-cutting board

Salt
Pepper
Ketchup
Margarine (or butter)

A frying pan and spatula

The next step is to put a little margarine (or butter) in the frying-pan. Don't use too much. See the illustrations below.

Next you need to slice your bread. This should pose no problem if you prepared well.

The next step is to warm the margarine on your cooker. Now, I am not going to go into a discussion of how to work your cooker. Every cooker is different. Take a few minutes to locate the on-off switch and other controls. I suggest a low heat, below half of the maximum. You don't want to over-fry your fried egg. The margarine should start to melt. It should not be bubbling. That's too hot.

Once the margarine has meted you can get ready to crack open your egg on the side of the pan.

My first mistake

Uh-Oh, this is not a raw chicken egg. It's a cooked salty-duck egg. You can't fry that!

If you screw up like me, your next task is to locate some raw eggs. The most likely location is inside your fridge often on an egg-rack on the inside of the fridge -door. If like me, there are no eggs to be found in the fridge, start looking in all the obvious places. They may be lurking in a cupboard somewhere. Think outside of the box. Where is the least likely place someone would store eggs? That's probably where you'll find them. Eventually after looking in every cupboard, I located them in a rotating closet where the spices should be kept.

Now we will start again with the eggs. They're very small. Better take two.

Wait a few minutes and the albumin should start to turn white.

If it takes too long, you may want to check the internet, YouTube, or something. Here I am checking bitcoin prices while the eggs fry.

Eventually when the albumin is white and not liquid, but before the yolk turns solid, turn off the heat and get ready to make your sandwich.

Add salt, pepper and ketchup to your taste, and voila! You cooked your first meal.

Now nobody can say you don't know how to cook!

Now you may be wondering what to do with the dirty utensils and plates? I find that a good trick is to put them in the sink,. With a bit of luck the magic pixies will come along in the night and clean everything up. If they don't, you risk getting an earful from your wife.

Remember: Quick check before you go back to bed: DID YOU TURN THE COOKER OFF?