Greetings loyal followers.

Please stand by for a major announcement from the Empire.

First I would like to say that I am not wearing any pants.

My executive assistant Vera, whose greatness can always be found and searching for it never results in a 404 error, has informed me that the Empire's IT guy Dennis has finally been able to overcome your inhabitants' technological limitations.

For quite some time, Dennis has been attempting to establish communication with your planet in real time. As you know, I am transmitting from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far way.

Approximately 5 months ago, Dennis was briefly able to establish a direct connection. Then one of your morons promptly did something to screw it up.

Outside of your galaxy, this inhabitant is viewed as the perfect representation of your people.

Dennis is attempting to establish the connection once again. He assures me that by 10:00 AM Eastern Standard Time tomorrow, the connection will be fully operational.

Since I know it is only a matter of time before one of your "geniuses" breaks the connection on your end, I am going to take this opportunity to once again answer questions posed by the inhabitants of your system. In my previous AMA, I was able to glean quite a bit of valuable intelligence about your people.

For example, I learned that these scholars are your greatest role models. (Your people don't stand a chance!)

Rest assured, I plan to use all of this information against all of you in the very near future.

Now you would think that knowing how I plan to use the information would lead to your inhabitants not sharing information with me. But you love me. You clearly can't help yourself (it's not your fault). I think my followers are so loyal that I could stand on New York's Fifth Avenue and Force choke people and I still would not lose any followers.

Does it look like anyone watching is upset? My chosen victim is even delighted that I am showing him attention.

Now for the announcement...

On Tuesday June 6, 2017 starting at 10:00 AM EST, I will provide your people with an opportunity to Ask Me Anything.

If all goes well, and your technicians can manage to avoid f'ing anything up, I will answer as many questions as possible in real time.

You're welcome.

One final warning, for your own safety, DO NOT ask any dumb questions.

No. I don't know of any good self-help books. What would I need help with? Being more awesome? And who would write that? I am the only one qualified. I would not bother wasting time writing that down, I would just do it. Like I do every freaking day! Now I have a question for you. Have you ever been Force choked through a phone?

There is only one place in your galaxy to receive this transmission. The transmission will be sent to steemit.com on Tuesday June 6 at 10:00 A.M. EST.

No world wide pants
Dennis
I am so smrt
Role models?
I can do anything I want!
Ask a stupid question... get Force choked.