Greetings loyal followers. As you know, I am contemplating what the Empire should do with your planet. Some of the options are to assimilate your planet into the Empire, milk your planet of all of its

Greetings loyal followers. I have a question for all of you. What the farkle is this disgusting piece of trash? Those scumbag Rebels simply won't give up. They continuously put their sick agenda over Imperial

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who always has the high ground no matter where she stands, has informed me that the whiny little farm boy @luke-skywalker has sent another transmission.

You would not believe the day I had! I received a transmission from an organization called PETA, which despite their pronunciation is not a purveyor of the tasty earth-treat known as the "gyro".

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who knows her onions, has informed me that one of your inhabitants has sent a transmission that is vital to the Empire. It concerns this technological

Many of my followers write me on a regular basis. They ask me all kinds of questions, like "Luke, why aren't you as cool as your dad?", "How do you get your hair to be so flowy?, "Is

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who is the perfect woman and is therefore worth any ten men, has informed me that one of your planet's inhabitants has sent a transmission about

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, whose value seems to grow exponentially every day, has informed me that in addition to being astounded by road maps and forks, now many of your

Greetings loyal followers. Although I will not greet them, this transmission is also directed at the unamusing dimwits who have mistaken my transmission expressing my loathing of your asinine Father's

Greetings loyal followers. A few days ago, I sent a transmission lambasting all of you for celebrating Father's Day and for having the gall to remind me of it. Rest assured, this impudence will not be

I just got back from my trip to the Death Star to see my dad for Father's Day. It was a rough trip but we made a lot of progress! It started off fine. I flew across the galaxy to meet dad at the Death

Greetings loyal followers. Despite the remarkably valiant efforts of my executive assistant Vera, who deserves to have several holidays honoring her, to block any incoming transmissions that might infuriate

Greetings loyal followers. I have sensed a disturbance in the force. This is what I look like when I sense something. It may seem silly to look around when you are sensing something magical that cannot

Watching the post@lordvader Also has recollected that in ukraine Darth Vader tried to become both the mayor of the city and the president It was fun to watch!

Hi Everyone! I'm Luke. I grew up on a small eco-friendly farm in the middle of the desert with my uncle Owen. Here is a picture of me working on my droid! I'm here trying to reconnect with my father

Greetings loyal followers. Yesterday I conducted my weekly staff meeting. Dennis! This is the wrong image! This is from the meeting where I was considering bringing back the black death. Then everyone

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who is the second most spectacular being in any universe, has informed me that... actually she has not informed me of anything. Vera is enjoying

Greetings loyal followers. The time you have all been waiting for has finally arrived. This is your opportunity to ask me anything. Hey lady with the camera, my eyes are up here. Hold on one moment. My

Greetings loyal followers. Please stand by for a major announcement from the Empire. First I would like to say that I am not wearing any pants. My executive assistant Vera, whose greatness can always be

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who could never be a bridesmaid because she would upstage any bride, has informed me that one of your inhabitants has had the gaul to make some false