Greetings loyal followers, My executive assistant Vera, whose mere presence is the most intoxicating thing in any galaxy, has informed me that there are new wars raging on your primitive planet. She explained

Greetings loyal followers. One of your least terrible inhabitants, @wadepaterson has made the wise decision to conduct an interview with the most powerful being in any universe. You can find the greatest

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who can just do anything (and just do it perfectly), has informed me that the moronic inhabitants of your primitive planet may be in need of some

Greetings loyal followers. Do you have what it takes to become my apprentice? Probably not. My executive assistant Vera, who will never have to look for another job as long as I am the most powerful being

Greetings loyal followers. I need to wait for the applause to die down before proceeding. This may take a while. My executive assistant Vera, who is the only ally anyone would ever need, has informed me

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who is the only other indispensable member of the Empire, has informed me that some of you may be able to provide The Empiree with valuable intelligence

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who should win the gold medal in... everything, has informed me that the crooked, whiny farm boy (who SHOULD BE LOCKED UP!) has issued yet another

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who could save every single starfish on a beach if she wanted to, has informed me that one of my least favorite inhabitants from your planet is at

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who consistently has the highest score in outstanding achievement in the field of excellence, has informed me that I have gained a tremendous amount

If you have been wondering why I haven't sent any transmissions recently, it is because I have been trying to enjoy one of my favorite pastimes: ruining creatures' Life Day celebrations. Perhaps some day

Greetings loyal followers. This is my feline named Padme. She will scratch your freaking face off if you cross her. That is why I like her. I treat animals well... except for ewoks. Those I eat well...

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who could teach all of you a thing or two, has informed me that one of your inhabitants has sent yet another transmission filled with fake news.

Greetings loyal followers. Headed to Steemfest2 on Thursday November 9th! Last Wednesday (November 1st), I received a transmission from my son, Lord Vader Jr. (at least that is what I would have named

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who should never hide her perfection by disguising herself as anyone else, has informed me that across your planet, October 31st is deemed "Honor

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who is the living incarnation of a perfect game, has informed me that we have received a transmission that was delayed as a result of the non-linear

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who is a true winner in every sense of the word, has informed me that your planet's inhabitants have created a contest in order to decipher what

Greetings loyal followers. There is a great disturbance in the Force. My executive assistant Vera, who is honestly the greatest thing in the universe, has informed me that another one of your community

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, whose presence makes every day feel like a vacation, has informed me that you people have been incessantly inquiring about my whereabouts. The views

Greetings loyal followers. My executive assistant Vera, who is the cat's pajamas, just informed me that my jackass boss, The Emperor, has scheduled me to speak in front of a room full of those dipwad,

Greetings loyal followers. As you know, I am contemplating what the Empire should do with your planet. Some of the options are to assimilate your planet into the Empire, milk your planet of all of its