Agreed. I think it's important to keep in mind that victim blaming does not only happen externally; internal self blame is a common consequence of trauma, especially sexual trauma. Your inner monologue to me speaks to your ability to shoulder accountability without self blame, which is a powerful skill/gift. Blaming and shaming are never helpful responses to harm (or anything at all, really), whether they come from within or without, and I think that even assignation of fault is an unhelpful concept -- it's possible to explore what harm has occurred and who is accountable for making reparations without deciding whose "fault" something is.

I can also imagine how some of those same words might be tinged with shame or self blame in another person's inner monologue, and I think you're right that the difference may have something to do with one's perceived locus of control. Another vital ingredient is self compassion: are we able to extend compassion to ourselves in instances of perceived inadequacy or failure? Or do we go to a place of fault, unworthiness, or badness? If the latter, we might have more healing to do (and deserve some compassion, from self and others, because of that) before we can can tackle the work of learning to become more accountable in the way we make sense of and integrate our experiences.

I think there are also layers here. To take an example: if a kid clocks another kid in the face at recess, on the most superficial (but still important) level, the kid who used violence was in the wrong and needs to be held accountable. No matter what the other kid did, violence cannot be a justified response, and it would be inappropriate to imply that the kid who got hit brought it on himself.

On a deeper level, it may also be true that there were things in play within the kid who got hit (his relationship to himself and the world, the way he shows up in it, and the ways in which he relates to others) that did in fact play a role in the situation unfolding the way that it did. These are questions for him to consider and tease apart in his own inner work, perhaps over the course of a lifetime, perhaps with the loving assistance of those close to him.