Are you afraid of disappointing others?
The reactions of those close to you, may range from enthusiastic support to mild jealousy to outright sabotage. Efforts to sabotage you may be voiced as a concern or attempts to make you feel guilty or unconscious. Sometimes they are not.
"Have a little of this."
"Let's go out for a few drinks."
"You want some of this.?"
"Come on, what do you mean you don't want seconds."
"I made it especially for you"
"It won't hurt you just this once."
"You're looking so thin."
"I think you're just doing this to get attention from other people."
"What do you mean you have to exercise?"
"You've gotten so boring since you started this health kick,"
You got the picture. Virtually everyone has a lost a significant amount of weight has had someone in their life attempt to sabotage their efforts in some way. What this always boils down to is how your weight loss is going to affect them. Don't take acts of sabotage too personally. It's human nature to people to protect the relationship status quo. Remember that change is a challenge to everyone --- even positive change, as you well know by now. This is usually the time for honest conversation that probably long overdue. Be firm but sympathetic to your saboteur's needs.
**Before you get along with this process, get those close to you on board, Explain to them what it means to you to accomplish your goals and then ask them for their encouragement and support, They may even be inspired them to be together with you doing your goals, but if not, at least they'll feel included in the process. **
Those close to you may need reassurance that your relationship with them will not be negatively be affected.In particular, your spouse or significant other can be a critical factor in your success or failure. Their fear that you will leave them behind both figuratively and literally is a real and common problem. Again, make them feel included in the process and reassure them that achieving your goals is good for your relationship.
Do you ever blame something or someone else for your inability to reach your goals?
If you answer "yes" to this question, you must look at whether or not you are taking full responsibility for your life. This essential; is to make permanent changes and getting your results. Pointing to external reasons for why your life becomes and remains a certain way is much easier than realizing that you have control over your own life.
We've all known people who have pointed to an unpleasant childhood, a bad marriage or relationship, or they are less than fulfilling a career as the cause of their unhappiness. They project the blame but on themselves by citing external causes. Projecting blame usually takes them farther from resolving anything.
Taking responsibility means looking at yourself to create your own life.
It means no longer blaming other people or things for who you are. Being successful with the weight loss process requires you to release all the external causes for your unhappiness, and then take it upon yourself to create your own happiness.
Do you ever feel that you don't deserve to be happy or successful?
If you're prone to sabotaging your own efforts or allowing anyone else to do it so it may be that deep down you really want your efforts to be doomed.There are variety of reasons why you may do this, but typically the source stem from some type of fear,
It could be :
- fear of failure,
- fear of change,
- fear of loss,
- fear of disapproval,
- fear that you have to continue this life of constant effort,
- or even fear of success.
But often at the root of this type of sabotage is the core belief that you're undeserving of happiness.