The need to fit in fades when you realize true growth happens when you thrive in your own way

83 days to go...

About 7 days ago, I started my 90 day journey of life’s transformation. One thing that became my main goal is to lose more weight, especially the remaining that I have to lose. Since early this year, my weight has stuck and I feel like I'm making no progress. So, while I thought I have eaten healthier, apparently it was still exceeding the calories that I needed in a day. At the same time, I didn’t exercise much then. These days thanks to growwithjo on youtube.

One thing about the way I eat is that I don’t get really bored of the same food. Since these days I don’t spend time cooking again, I make sure that whoever made them for me can make it. It’s plain simple and the only thing I would occasionally cook is Chicken Soy Sauce or the egg fried rice.

In the past, I still ate bread and tortilla, as you could see before I might have shared an egg wrap recipe that I love. These days, I am saying goodbye to wraps. I also ate 4-3 eggs, only boiled eggs for the last month. It’s something I’ve come to enjoy, simple and saves time. I still eat small amounts of fries and sometimes rice in between.

I am a huge snacker and it’s where my most calories are going. I realized that I am always tempted to snack. So, my mom told me to swap it with fruits. I don’t care much about fruits and could get bored of them easily, so, like the other day, I decided I made this orange covered in chocolate to be my snacks throughout the next week.

Recipe (Orange covered in chocolate)

to make this kind of snack, it’s pretty easy. You can get chocolate chip cookies, melted it and dip the orange into the liquid chocolate, freeze it overnight. They make tasty snacks and sweet treats. I also made another commitment to stop snacking and put my snacking budget elsewhere.

Throughout the week, I certainly had some difficult moments. I had mood swings, suicidal thoughts, you name it. But I won , in a sense that even through such a bad mental situation, I got up and exercised. I eventually found some channel that makes it easier to workout when you feel bad. Like in the past, these kinds of things would have been impossible. But I workout sometimes 30 minutes, sometimes more than 120 minutes. The workouts are super fun and I didn’t feel like working out at all. It makes me motivated to really do something even when my mind is telling me to just wallow in sadness.

As a result, I lose 2 pounds this week

I mean, I have 83 days to go which is about 11 weeks but this week really gave me more confidence to keep going and not stop until it finished. This is the very first time I felt like I have ever felt truly accomplished. I won towards my own thoughts and gave me confidence to just enjoy the journey wherever it may lead. I’ve failed enough in life and I’ve really got nothing loose.

The other day I also wrote something like

The need to fit in fades when you realize true growth happens when you thrive in your own way

I used to want to fit in and tried to live life that just isn’t for me. Everyone’s success and stories are unique. While you know maybe some people thrive in organized living, some thrive in chaos. Maybe some don’t have a huge ambition in their life and they’re fine with it, maybe some do. I am just really going back to the 17 year old me who lived life the way she likes. It was working out but she didn’t know better than there is no need to fit in that everything she wanted will eventually come. All it takes is just a mixture of hard work, patience and time.

Each of us are unique and as much as I attempted to be someone else, I am not that person and will never be. I won’t be fitting in to what society needs me to or expects me to do. I could however camouflage my way in but really, I love the way my life is even though I used to think if this wasn’t working. The truth is, what doesn’t work was how I tried so hard to fit in, that’s where it failed me. Anyway, see you next week!