Choosing, Cleaning, Prepping, Cooking...
Who would have thought such activity would bring me joy and de-stress?
Before this, whenever I feel stressed, I would eat. I channeled my frustration to food. I picked so many unhealthy food that later only amplifies my frustration.
I have found the joy of cooking only recently. I used to think that cooking was merely about the taste. But as I learn, it is also about the choosing the ingredient, nutrition knowledge, cleaning, cooking, taste, and presentation. These set of activities helps me calming down, focused, relaxed, exercise my creativity and thinking outside the box.
Grabbing a knife then cutting an ingredient is extremely satisfying. From the movement to the sound of it, everything helps me relaxed after a stressful day. Once I grab a knife and starts cutting, I also feel more focused. It helps me distract my mind from whatever the situation I had earlier. My mom would know not to disturb me when I cook. I told her that when she is trying to make a conversation, that would ruin my focus and concentration. Often when that happens, it would ruin the taste. So, she would always leave me alone.
Since I often cook in the middle of the night, I learn to search about food timing. By this I mean, I learn about which food should be eaten during the day, during the afternoon, lunch, and at night. Though sometimes I just ignore it because I want to try new recipes I just learned. In addition to that, most of my awesome dishes are made at night instead during the day. So, night time is when I would research and try it. Then in the morning, I would repeat the same menu and serve it for tasting.
Cooking helps me deal with my unhealthy relationship to food. When I invested more time to this hobby, I learn about the quantities that would satisfy me instead going overboard. For instance, I realized I was always eating 300gr of pasta but these days 50gr to 100gr would suffice. This helps me learn to appreciate food more. The time that I invest, the thoughts that goes into the food, makes me enjoy it more.Food is more than just a meal on the plate and now I know when to say enough.
Then, there's presentation;the final result of cooking. I am someone who has short patience.But plating,putting the meal into the plate in an aesthetic way, has taught me to be more patient. I notice that whenever I rush with the plating, it would look very bad. So, these days at least my patience is a bit increasing. When I compare to my previous plating with now,I saw a huge different. I learn to treat it more seriously because that would also affect the way I feel about the food. In the end good, nourishing, and aesthetically pleasing meal is an achievement itself.So that's when I get an instant result and sense of achievement. But of course, I had days when my cooking failed and that is another story to tell.
My grandma who often hears my frustration gave me a boost of confidence "It's okay, you can always try again." I think that is also applicable to many aspects in life; when you're failing, keep trying. Mac