I fully understand your challenges.

When you concentrate on not wanting to be directed by incoming digital triggers (notifs), I assure you when you consciously try to avoid direct reactions on triggers, you will be able to handle them somewhere down the line.

In your specific situation, I can be on the phone doing whatever, notifs coming in and I just ignore them. Nothing in my body or mind that feels that I shall react to the incoming triggers. I just look at it, register something came in and continue with whatever I was doing. It was a process for me to get there, but I succeeded. And when I can, anyone can. But yeah, it takes effort and time to re-wire our brains.