Greetings all
My posting is everywhere at the moment, so please bear with me as I try to get back on track! I gave an extra long post today, so please enjoy!
“A friend. I have never had a friend, just a collection of people that I would use and would use me. What do you do with a friend?” half-groaned Kay when she walked through the doors.
“And here I thought the girl had a crush on you.” Chuckled Silens.
“Just because I like both genders doesn’t mean that I will jump into bed with the first person who shows interest in me. I don’t have an itch.” Said Kay. “Anyway, aren’t you a mind reader? You should have known what she really wanted.”
Silens only chuckled, “Is having a friend that alien to you?”
“I will say again: I had people I used and was used by them in turn.”
“Friendship isn’t that much different. Just not always as balanced.”
“It’s stupid and I don’t want to.”
“Nothing says you have to. Why are you so uncomfortable with all this?”
“I just don’t want…” Kay trailed off and left the room to see what had been prepared with dinner.
Silens had never pried about Kay’s past, but she imagined that it wasn’t too different from Saita’s, but now she was starting to doubt her first thoughts. She followed the young woman who was fishing stew out of the pot hanging over the kitchen fireplace.
Silens was torn. Before her was the thing that had been instrumental in the death of her firstborn daughter. She was supposed to hate her, but seeing the figure within the forest on the Saith home world, she couldn’t bring herself to feel anything other than curiosity. She had spent weeks watching the thing that had once been the Fell Dragon. Kay was standoffish, but was no beast. Even then, she wasn’t like Saita; something was deeply, deeply wrong with her, and it wasn’t the System within her.
“What happened to you, Kay?” she asked.
Kay sighed heavily before saying, “I was wondering when you would eventually start to ask questions.”
“I am not prying. If you don’t want me to know, this conversation didn’t happen.”
Kay ladled some stew into a wooden bowl and sat at the rough-hewed wooden kitchen table they had inherited. For a long time, she stirred the contents in the bowl, not saying anything. Silens took that as a sign that Kay didn’t want to talk. She was about to step from the room when Kay said softly.
“My father beat the ever-living crap out of me from as early as I can remember until the Kai killed him.”
Kay looked at her hands. “The farm was failing. Crops dying. Mother died in childbirth with the son he wanted.”
Silens remained silent, leaning against the door frame.
“Rescued, alternative motives. Escaped. Lived on the streets, doing what I could to survive. Not proud of all of it.” Kay clenched her hands. “But I lived.”
Kay stared into the bowl before her. “Found people I thought I could trust. Tried and failed to start a revolution to free the planet from military rule. The people I thought I could trust turned on me, handed me over. Became this.”
Kay hit her chest loud enough for Silens to hear the vibrations in Kay’s lungs.
“Was told not to remember the rest. And I didn’t, mostly. But sometimes, I think there are flashes of memories.” Her right hand traced the scar from her face to her neck. “Then, I awoke screaming with blood filling my lungs. Trapped in the dark so long, in a cage, going insane.”
Kay continued, not looking up to see if Silens was even listening.
“Screaming in my head, every waking moment, defending my life, because I was turned into a monster. All I wanted was peace, but I didn’t know that peace would come with silence and darkness, trapped in a mental cage.”
Kay swallowed hard, realising that she had summed up her entire life in a handful of minutes.
“I…don’t trust.” She said softly as she looked up at the old woman.
“True.” Said Silens softly. “Understandable. But do you want to?”
Kay hummed under her breath, almost as if growling, and continued to stare into the bowl of food.
“I don’t know how.”
“Well, you'd better learn. I won’t be alive forever, and while I am not close to your age, you will outlive me.”
Kay’s attention snapped to the old woman, a pang of regret immediately flourishing inside of her. She hadn’t wanted to drag all of that up. It annoyed her that she had allowed herself to be so vulnerable.
“I’m not looking for sympathy.” She muttered, finally digging into her food.
“And I won’t give it.” Said Silens. “You don’t need it. You’re doing well enough on your own. If you don’t want to have a friend now, so be it. But you can’t be alone.”
“Don’t expect a hug. I don’t need the comfort.”
“I won’t give you what you don’t need. Haven’t you learned that yet?” Chuckled Silens while pointing to a wrapped object on the table. “Try a bite of that when you’re done. It’s been a while since I baked, especially in a woodfire oven. I want your opinion on it.”
Kay paused in mid-chew to reach for the package that was wrapped in large leaves. She pulled it open to reveal what she could only describe as a small cake. Swallowing what was in her mouth at the time, she sniffed at the package. It was sweet, very sweet. She broke off a small piece and popped it into her mouth.
She was amazed to find glazed fruit and nuts worked into a dense cake-like dessert. While she wasn’t overly fond of sweet things, she liked this.
“It’s good.” She said, forcing herself to wrap the baked treat once more.
“Excellent. Then happy birthday to you.”
Kay froze and looked up at the older woman. “What?”
“If I’m not mistaken, you and Saita share a birthday. It should be about now, if my calculations aren’t off from being back on my birth planet.”
Kay’s birth had never been celebrated before. She wasn’t even sure when it was during her first life.
“Children heralding the monsoon are little storms themselves. Can’t say you weren’t born at an appropriate time. Eat up. We need to clean and preserve the herbs you brought home.”
Kay wanted to tell her that she was wasting her time celebrating something so trivial, but when she looked up, Silens was already done. The small gift had spoken more volumes than what the old woman ever said in words. It was Kay’s choice whether she wanted to accept the gift, as it was her choice whether she wanted to accept the friendship that Mitis was offering.
Choices. It was something that Kay had had very little experience in. Yes, there were opportunities now and again, but nothing like this. This was new, and while Kay was sure Silens wanted a happier outcome, the gesture had done nothing but hurt.
Her whole life, Kay had been brutalised in some way or another. She had never been given anything but the short stick. To see someone who barely knew her, who had somewhat forgiven her for the death of her eldest, to treat her this well, hurt like hell. Was it really that easy for people to be nice? If that was true, why had her life ended up like this?
Her eye stung, and she hurriedly jammed the heel of her hand into it to prevent any tears from falling.
“No more tears.” She muttered under her breath. “They bring nothing.”
Hopefully, my posting will be better this week! I hope you enjoyed the update!
For those of you who have never heard of Fell Dragon you can find Book 1 here, Book 2 here, Book 3 here, and Book 4 here, Book 5 here, Book 6 here, Book 7 here, and Book 8 here
If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. I love discussing my books!
As the series continues, it will combine with another book series I wrote. To avoid confusion about what is happening, introductory chapters will be introduced separately so that you don't have to be lost. However, these chapters will contain spoilers. You can find these chapters here:
Races Explained
Banishment
Royal Guard
Saasha’s Direct Family
Saith Characters Recap
Human Characters Recap
Alternate Timeline Brucel
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Haven't read the other parts yet? Follow these handy links:
Part 107>>You are Here>>Part 109
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