Gratitude
In Episode 17, Greg Shaw and co-hosts Rich, Jay, and Derek slow down and talk about gratitude as a lived practice, not “good manners” or forced positivity. The heart of the episode is simple: gratitude doesn’t erase pain—but it can change how we meet pain, and that shift matters. (iHeart)
Right from the start, the episode gives a surprising example: in a fundraising/call-center setting, a simple expression of thanks led to more than a 50% increase in calls for the week. That’s not magic. It’s what happens when people feel seen. (Harvard Gazette)
“Gratitude isn’t the finish line. It can be part of the path.”
—
“Gratitude changes the room. When people feel appreciated, they show up differently.”
— Rich
“We all have something to be grateful for, even if it’s at a root level.”
— Jay
“It’s an honor and a privilege to have a warm shower. We take that for granted.”
— Derek
What this episode gets right (in plain language)
Gratitude can get a bad name because people use it in hurtful ways:
“Be grateful” (when someone is suffering)
“At least it’s not worse” (when pain is real)
“Just think positive” (when the nervous system is on fire)
This episode pushes back on that.
Gratitude is not denial
Gratitude isn’t pretending you’re fine. It’s telling the truth more fully.
Key point: You can hold two true things at once:
“This is hard” and “Something good still exists.”
That “both/and” approach is often what helps people breathe again, especially during grief, chronic pain, isolation, or recovery.
Why gratitude helps (the science, without the fluff)
The research around gratitude is deep, and it’s not just “good vibes.”
1) Gratitude shifts attention away from worry loops
When the brain is stressed, it scans for threats. That’s human. Gratitude gently trains attention to notice what’s still okay, still meaningful, still supportive.
- Classic research on gratitude journaling found that people who regularly listed what they were grateful for showed improvements in well-being compared to groups focusing on hassles or neutral events. (Greater Good)
2) Gratitude strengthens social bonds
Being thanked can increase prosocial behavior (helping, effort, willingness to contribute). In Grant & Gino’s work, gratitude expressions helped people feel socially valued and more willing to help again. (PubMed)
That connects directly to what Rich shares in the episode - gratitude creates ripples: the giver feels it, the receiver feels it, and the environment changes.
3) Gratitude practices can have lasting effects
One reason the “Three Good Things” practice became so popular is that it showed benefits over time in Seligman and colleagues’ work. (Greater Good in Action)
And the “gratitude visit/letter” practice is also backed by research, because it turns a private feeling into a real human connection. (Greater Good)
4) Gratitude may support health and longevity
A Harvard Health summary of research highlights that gratitude is linked with multiple health benefits, and it discusses newer data from the Nurses’ Health Study suggesting an association with lower mortality risk among older women with higher gratitude scores. (Harvard Health)
Important note: “Association” is not the same as “proof,” but it’s still a meaningful signal, especially because gratitude is low-cost, low-risk, and accessible to most people.
The real-life side (why the hosts’ stories matter)
Research is helpful, but the episode’s power is the lived experience.
Greg: gratitude during hard holidays
Greg openly shares that holidays can be painful due to distance and estrangement, yet gratitude helps him stay grounded in what he does have. That’s the kind of gratitude many people can actually practice: not fake joy, just steady footing.
Rich: gratitude that builds morale
Rich talks about thanking people who don’t expect it, customer service, work settings, everyday moments - and how that changes the whole feel of a day. That lines up with what workplaces are learning: appreciation isn’t “extra.” It’s a form of care that improves trust and effort. (Harvard Gazette)
Jay: gratitude in recovery spaces
Jay brings in a powerful point: even when life feels “broken,” community can still be a source of gratitude, especially in recovery rooms where the message is “keep coming back.” That is gratitude as belonging.
Derek: gratitude as noticing
Warm water. Light through clouds. People holding hands. Derek’s approach is a skill many of us lost: notice what you normally rush past. Noticing is often the first step back to hope.
When gratitude feels blocked (and what to do instead)
Sometimes gratitude feels impossible. That doesn’t mean you’re “ungrateful.” It often means you’re overloaded.
Grateful.org describes common “gratitude inhibitors” like fear, scarcity thinking, comparison, entitlement, and the constant pressure of “not enough.” (Grateful.org)
Try this gentler question
Instead of “What am I grateful for?” try:
“What is one small thing that is also true?”
Examples:
“I got through the last hour.”
“I drank water.”
“Someone texted me back.”
“My body made it to today.”
That counts.
Key Point
Gratitude works best when it’s honest, small, and repeatable.
A simple gratitude practice you can actually do (7 days)
This is the episode’s main suggested practice, and it’s one of the most research-backed:
The “Three Good Things” exercise (10 minutes)
For at least one week:
Write three things that went well today
Write why they went well
Keep it real, no forced positivity
Small things count (very small things count) (Greater Good in Action)
Example (realistic):
“I answered one message.” (Why: I asked for 5 minutes of energy, not 50.)
“I took a shower.” (Why: I left the towel out ahead of time.)
“I saw a nice sky.” (Why: I paused on purpose for 10 seconds.)
Make it easier (tiny “cheat codes”)
Put a notebook by your bed
Set a daily reminder
Use voice notes if writing hurts
If you miss a day: resume, don’t restart
A second practice with big emotional power
The gratitude letter (15 minutes)
Think of someone who helped you and never got the thanks they deserved:
Write what they did
Write what it meant to you
If possible, share it with them (even by text or email) (Greater Good in Action)
This practice is powerful because it builds connection, and connection is often where healing lives.
A question for Hivians
When life feels heavy, what’s one small thing you can still honestly appreciate today, without pretending everything is okay?
(If you feel comfortable, share your answer in the comments - someone else may need your words.)
Listen to the podcast
You can listen to Episode 17: Gratitude here:
Join our weekly virtual support groups (KindnessRX)
KindnessRX hosts free, safe, confidential online groups each week. (KindnessrRX)
Mondays - 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM Eastern: Brain Injury Support Group
Tuesdays - 12:00 PM to 1:00 PM Eastern: Chronic Pain Support Group
Wednesdays - 7:30 PM to 8:30 PM Eastern: Mental Health Support Group
You can sign up through the KindnessRX Luma calendar. (Luma)
If you need support right now
This podcast is for encouragement and peer support, not medical advice.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest ER.
In the U.S., you can call/text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (988 Lifeline)
If you prefer texting, Crisis Text Line is an option. (Crisis Text Line)
Recommended Resources
Recommended: Gratitude practices you can start today
Three Good Things (Greater Good in Action) - step-by-step practice + why it works. (Greater Good in Action)
Gratitude Letter (Greater Good in Action) - write (and ideally deliver) a letter of thanks. (Greater Good in Action)
Four Great Gratitude Strategies (Grateful.org) - practical ways to build the habit. (Grateful.org)
Recommended: TED Talks and videos
Want to be Happy? Be Grateful (Br. David Steindl-Rast / TEDGlobal 2013) - simple framework for grateful living. (Grateful.org)
TED-Ed lesson: Want to be happy? Be grateful (Steindl-Rast) - great for classrooms or quick learning. (TED-Ed)
The Power of Gratitude (Robert Emmons / Greater Good) - research-based summary from a leading gratitude researcher. (Greater Good)
Recommended: Research & studies (high-quality)
Emmons & McCullough (2003): “Counting Blessings Versus Burdens” - gratitude listing and well-being. (Greater Good)
Seligman et al. (2005): “Positive psychology progress” - includes “Three Good Things” and “gratitude visit” effects. (PubMed)
Grant & Gino (2010): “A little thanks goes a long way” - gratitude expressions increase helping and effort. (PubMed)
Harvard / Nurses’ Health Study analysis (2024): gratitude and mortality (JAMA Psychiatry) (JAMA Network)
Systematic review (2023): gratitude interventions - overview of outcomes across studies. (PMC)
Recommended: Books (reader-friendly + practical)
Thanks! - Robert Emmons (science-based gratitude guidance).
The Gratitude Diaries - Janice Kaplan (story-driven year of gratitude). (Alcoholics Anonymous)
A Simple Act of Gratitude - John Kralik (thank-you notes as daily practice).
Recommended: Podcasts (authoritative)
The Support & Kindness Podcast - Episode 17: Gratitude (iHeart) (iHeart)
HBR IdeaCast episode: “The Big Benefits of a Little Thanks” (Grant & Gino discuss gratitude research). (Harvard Business Review)
The Happiness Lab (Dr. Laurie Santos) - evidence-based happiness and behavior change.
The Science of Happiness (Greater Good Science Center) - practical psychology for daily life.
Recommended: Apps (gratitude + mood support)
Day One Journal (easy journaling, templates). (App Store)
Happyfeed (quick daily “good things” log). (App Store)
Presently (simple gratitude journal on Android). (Google Play)
Insight Timer (gratitude meditations + sleep support). (Insight Timer)
Recommended: Immediate support (U.S.)
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - call/text/chat 24/7. (988 Lifeline)
Crisis Text Line - text-based support. (Crisis Text Line)
NAMI HelpLine - info, referrals, education (not a crisis line). (nami.org)
Mental Health America Screening Tools - free, private screening. (Mental Health America)
Recommended: Additional support areas
Chronic pain
- American Chronic Pain Association (ACPA) - peer support + education. (ACPA)
Disability rights
ADA National Network - ADA rights and accommodation guidance. (ADA National Network)
National Disability Rights Network (NDRN) - connect with local P&A / CAP. (NDRN)
Grief
Hospice Foundation of America - grief learning + support ideas. (Hospice Foundation of America)
The Dougy Center - grief support for children/teens/families. (Dougy Center)
National Alliance for Children’s Grief - resources for caregivers/helpers. (NACG - NACG)
Substance use / recovery
SAMHSA National Helpline - treatment referrals and info. (SAMHSA)
FindTreatment.gov - locator for mental health and substance use services. (FindTreatment.gov)
SMART Recovery - skills-based peer support. (SMART Recovery)
Alcoholics Anonymous - meeting finder and support. (gratitudediaries.com)
Narcotics Anonymous - meeting search support. (SMART Recovery)
#kindness #gratitude #cwh #support #mentalhealth #chronicpain #peersupport #recovery #kindnessmatters #community
Edited with the help of ChatGPT. Images were created using Nano Banana. I hold a commercial license for each.