I crawled into my tent,
blacked out,
and came to in a big blue world I did not know.
…
First impressions: Where am I and wherefore must the morning greet me with such aggression. Why do my arms hurt this bad. How is my heart beating that fast. It's much too bright here and I don't like it. Will someone please turn down the sun and put some coffee on. I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I feel dead and cold and unclean inside. I need to pee and I need to brush my teeth.
I struggle into my pants, sit up, slip into my sandals. I crawl out of my tent and stand up. I do not recognize this land. I see the mountains but I know not their names. I see the lakes but their shapes are unfamiliar. Something is wrong. This is not the Colorado backcountry I blacked out in last night. The blues are overwhelming here. The air around me sizzles with flies abuzz.
Confused and a bit afraid I feel the darkness prying my brain again. I already know I won't be able to stave it off this time. When you know, you know. Where am I. What lonely unearthly land is this. Standing there with a head full of questions my bladder's about half empty when suddenly I realize that the weird half-buried sunbleached thing I'm pissing on is a human skull.
Stagnant mind. Madness. Time, unmoving. The fear has fully matured. Ten seconds an eon and finally I remember to breathe. I look around, more carefully now. What hellish unholy land is this. Everywhere the evidence of death. Bones innumerable scattered, tales of countless others like me untold but for these sad and shattered epilogues. Why are my forearms so afire with pain.
I am now a man undone for lack of understanding where I am now. The suffering in this tenuous existence is intense. Why am I where I am and how am I going to get myself out. Shivering with uncertainty I look down at my arms hoping to find answers in the pain, and in that moment right before my eyes materializes a mess of ugly slashing cuts, and crusty blackened blood.
Final thoughts: I know neither this land nor where I am but I do now have a theory about how I arrived here. I see the signs and I saw the others enskeletoned so we'll see if I'm right about how wrong things are in this world. I can handle death but as a writer I really can't handle having my arms all bloody fucked up like this. I will figure this place out if it's the last thing I ever do.
…
Now by fading to black
blue makes a strange land more familiar,
and so I sit here bold and breathless staring into the cold eternal flames.
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🤗 ⛰ 🤗
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