Hello Exhaust community!
For the last 9 years, fitness has been a part of my life, but not entirely, I want to share with you my story which will include positive body transformation and the negative one. I also want to talk about my return to a healthy lifestyle and training.
My beginnings with sport (2007-2012)
As a child, I was very lazy, I ate a lot of fast foods and sweets. I was addicted to PC games and I hated sport, I even skipped PE lessons. This type of life style made me fat very quickly. I weighed over 90 kg with a height of 160 cm, but I wasn't worried, I was rather happy. As you can see in the photo, it was taken in 2007. In the next 5 years, my weight was increasing. I have noticed that the girls are no longer interested in me, my friends are laughing at me and my health is starting to show bad signs. In 2012, I reached 100 kg with a height of 170 cm. I realized that I want to change my body. I had no idea how to start a diet so I was just eating less food and healthy. I also started going out to play football with my friends. At first I was a goalkeeper, nobody wanted me in attack because I was too fat and slow, but with time passing by I was losing weight and I was able to run faster. After seeing the progress I was in love with football. I wanted to be better than my friends, I wanted to score more goals, I wanted to be faster, and obviously I wanted to look better. I was hungry for progress.
My beginnings with gym (2013-2015)
One year has passed and I decided to buy a gym membership, some of my friends were already going to the gym so I went with them to do my first training. I didn't expect to be so weak, but as soon as we started our first exercise which was bench press I noticed that I can't even lift the bar alone. I was definitely a loser. After training I went to the supplement shop that we had inside the gym building and I asked the seller what should I buy to progress faster. He told me that its not about supplements, its about diet and consistency in trainings, but I still wanted to buy something, he recommanded me protein whey and creatine. I ended up buying both and additionaly some fat burner with caffeine. I went back home and I started reading about diet and training. I was spending about 3 hours daily on educating myself. Without buying a personal trainer I created a good training plan and diet for myself. I kept going to the gym with my friends every second day. I started reading more about diet/training, I also started reading about supplements and even steroids cycles. I wanted to know everything, I started following bodybuilders, watching videos. I was so hyped, Gym was my whole life. I was putting so much effort into this gym journey and after some time I surpassed all my friends, I was looking better and I was lifting more than they did. I felt really good. I was full of energy. Those years were probably best years of my life. I felt like a demigod. At this time I weighed 70 kg with a height of 170 cm.
Being consistent is hard (2016-2018)
At this time almost all my friends quit gym. They started drinking and partying. Most of the time I was going to the gym alone, but sometimes I was going in with my friend who didn't quit gym yet. My friend had incredible genetics, he had a really fast metabolism and basically he could eat a lot and not get fat. Allways after training he was going to the food store nearby gym, he was buying some candy bars and things like that while still maintaining low body fat percentage. I was jelaous, me with all this strict diet looking at him eating sweets and fast foods, especially when I had a weakness for this type of food, I started buying this type of food with him. Of course I still kept going to the gym, but after every training I was buying some sweets with him. I noticed no progress at all. I was even gaining fat, so I stopped it. After some time of not seeing progress I became anxious and depressed, so I went on a strict diet again and I lost the kg that I gained by eating sweets with my friend. One year later, in 2017 my friend quit gym. At this time I also finished high school. I had no plans to look for a job. I was just playing games and enjoying gym, living at my parents house. Since I had no friends going to the gym with me I changed gym for the other one that was closer to my place. It was a 24/7 gym. I kept going there alone but 24/7 gym for me was the worst idea.
I started playing games till late night and I fucked up my biological clock. I started sleeping at day and living at night. I was going to the gym at night while the gym was empty but over time I felt lonely and anxious, no friends,no girlfriend,no job,night life. I started eating fast foods and sweets and I even started skipping training sessions, I also started smoking cigarettes. I could train for 2 weeks with purpose to lose weight, then eat fast foods and sweets for 1 week, then train/diet again for 2 weeks, then again eat fast foods and sweets for a week or even more. Because of that I made no progress. I weighted 75kg, then 80, then 75, then 80, then 75, then 80... I wasn't giving up tho, every time I reached 80kg, I was going back to 75, but I lost something important, I lost consequence. I just got rid of this habit. I lost control over my own life. Food and PC games have taken over me. I was regaining my desire to be better self but it was short and unstable. I think 2016-2018 were a big disaster for me. I was lost and I couldn't do shit about it. I became depressed.
Start of covid and end of the gym journey (2019-2021)
When Covid started spreading around I started panicking, I was already so anxious and depressed and covid scared me a lot. They closed all gyms so I couldn't train, I also came back to eating fast foods and sweets daily. I started believeing that its gonna be the end of humanity, total human race extinction. I was sure that I'm gonna die soon. At this time I was 24 years old. One of my friends I met on the internet a couple years ago had a problem with alcohol, he was drinking every day in front of PC, I decided to try too, I thought if I'm gonna die anyway atleast I want to try some new things. That was a really bad decision. I started from flavored beers. Every day I was buying atleast 1-2 beers.
After some time it wasn't enough I started buying 4 beers daily, but it was still not enough so I switched for a high alcohol % beers. With time passing by I got addicted to alcohol and when the lockdown ended and they opened gym again I couldn't go back to it. I couldn't stop drinking, I couldn't stop eating bad food.
I tried going back to the gym and diet a couple of times, but the maximum time I survived without alcohol and fast foods was 2 weeks. It was a serious addiction.
After some time I was diagnosed with a weakened liver, on blood tests I did my liver score was 5x higher than it should be. It was really serious and I was scared that I might really die, not because of a covid, but because of a liver. I stopped drinking and went to the gym but with my current health I just puked and passed out. It was a trauma. I couldn't even train anymore. I wasn't drinking for 1 month and instead of heavy weight trainings I started jogging on a fresh air. I fixed my liver by a bit and when I felt better I started drinking again. After 3 months of daily drinking, I started browsing my phone and I saw all my old photos, that nostalgic feeling made me want to quit alcohol again, additionally at this time my brother whos alcohol addict too was making so many troubles, looking at him was the key point to stop drinking this time for real. I can say that I've spent almost 3 years on eating fast foods and drinking alcohol daily. Thats not a surprise but my body changed drastically. I reached 88.4 kg and I became fat again.
Its time to go back to healthy lifestyle and trainings (2021-???)
This time I'm really serious. Soon I'm gonna be 27 years old and I don't want to waste more time. I love training and I love healthy lifestyle, I just got lost for some period of time. I can't go to the gym yet, since I might still pass out and puke. My health is so bad. Thats why I bought dumbbells to train at home, here I'm safe and I can train without worrying too much about my health. I plan on going back to the gym when I fix my health, but for a couple weeks I will stay with my dumbbells. I already did 2 trainings, I almost passed out at my first one, but second training was a lot better. I survived without any bad things happening to me.
My training looks like this:
I'm doing full body workout, every second day, basically I searched for some exercises that I can do at home with dumbbells. nothing special for now untill I go back to the gym
I also ordered a lot of supplements to fix my health:
- creatine
- zing/magnesium/b6
- multivitamin pack
- testosterone booster (no steroids yet lol maybe when I'm 40yo lmao)
- melatonine
- vitamin C
- vitamin D3
- green tea capsules
- omega 3
- liv52 and NAC to fix liver
My diet looks like this:
- 1st meal:
165g chicken + 100g rice - 2nd meal:
165g chicken + 100g rice - 3rd meal:
165g chicken + 100g rice - 4th meal:
5 eggs
2075 calories, 175g protein, 226g carbs, 51g fat
I dropped alcohol and fast foods at 03.12.2021, so its 7 days already and I feel a lot better. To be honest I feel like I can't fail this time. There is a lot of people that are motivating me, I can't fail them. I can't fail my parents, I can't fail my friends, I can't fail myself. I will be posting there my progress. Not every week tho, I think every month. I don't want to think short, 1 week is too short to make posts about. I want to go back to the times when I surpassed all my friends and I was so hyped, but this time I'm not gonna do this to prove something to my friends. I'm gonna do it for myself. This way I can't fail.