Well, this post is about me. I was that worry-worry girl. 😊
About two months ago, I was at war with myself. My mind was in chaos. It started when a few of my investments failed, my dad fell ill, and I watched my mum struggle to care for both of us, even though she wasn’t feeling well herself. I worried that she might break down if she didn’t take time to rest. When I finally recovered and my dad began responding to treatment, I was called back to school. Then came new worries: school life, finances, rent, and my parents’ health. I couldn’t sleep well at night and looked exhausted during the day.
Then one day, after speaking with my mum, I decided to let go of all my worries and focus more on mindfulness and gratitude. It wasn’t easy trying to stop worrying, so I started searching for articles online, but that, too, only made me more anxious.
One evening, I went to this hotel beside my house to charge my phone. The place was quiet and peaceful, as usual, with only a lady and her child swimming. I lay down on one of the lounge chairs and watched them. The breeze was so gentle and blissful that I decided to just listen to it. Then I listened to my own breathing; in and out. I noticed my heartbeat and, for a few seconds, wondered what it must look like inside me. I stayed that way for a long time until someone tapped me and asked if I was sleeping with my eyes open.
Later that evening, I reminisced on that moment. I was really smiling and I felt at peace.
That night, I slept for nine hours straight.
After that experience, I started visiting the hotel often, mostly at night when there were very few people around, just to sit quietly and listen to nothing but the wind and myself.
Thanks to this newly discovered habit, I began to notice how much more intentional I had become with my meals. I pay attention to what I eat, and even feel the food as it travels down my esophagus and settled in my stomach. My concentration has also improved greatly, I can now listen to someone talk for hours without getting lost in my own thoughts.
I’ve also learned to worry less and focus on finding solutions instead. And for the problems I can’t solve, I leave them to the Creator and trust in His greatness.
When I saw this prompt, I realized that what I’ve been practicing all along is mindfulness on a very deep level. My anxiety is almost gone, if not completely. I feel happier, more peaceful, and more grateful. The only challenge right now is my noisy environment, which I’m working on changing so I can enjoy some quiet time in my room too.
It amazes me how such a simple practice can bring such a huge change to my life. I’m still on this journey, and I hope to keep discovering more about myself along the way.