I think this here is definitive proof that using "bread mix" type flour is a bad darn idea when it comes to making sourdough. I did everything according to the clock, too, which might have been a part of the whole catastrophe.
Error #1:
I let my starters get tired. I left them maturing too long and got that "exhausted starter" smell reminiscent of nail polish remover. I thought I'd be fine giving my starters a "pick up" of a quarter-cup each of feeder flour and filtered water. I may have been wrong.
For my Wholemeal Starter, I did feed it the evening before... but I maybe should have waited until just before bedtime rather than just before I was 100% done with doing anything that day. I shall see next week. Assuming I can get some flour.
Error #2:
Maybe it was not listening to ALL of my primary guide, which is this guy:
I maybe need someone who knows sourdough to teach me without the time skips. What I need to do for sure is not count the time on screen but rather the texture and behaviour of the dough.
Also - just saying... don't tell people so many times to use THOSE EXACT PORTIONS if you don't do it yourself. Yikes, bro.
Moving on...
Error #3:
Bread mix. I've been using bread mix for one of my starters instead of bread flour, which is an entirely different animal... well. Vegetable, if we're going with 20 Questions rules.
Bread flour is just flour that's meant for making bread. Bread mix has dough improvers in it and all the other nonsense that sourdough people are trying to avoid.
I blame the shortage of literally every type of flour. Next time, I'm just going to grab the plain stuff.
Error #4:
Working to the clock.
Just... Time is a social construct and more or less a guide to these shenanigans rather than a rule to be obeyed or the moon will implode. Work to the dough, not to the clock.
Ironically, I forgot about the times necessary for the wholemeal dough and let it sit between agitations for an entire hour and that stuff turned out FINE. I mean, sure, the first thing out of the oven was a flatty loaf, but I put the next one into a silicone loaf pan and...
Just bask in this magnificence for a moment. Admire the ugly-beauty of it. This, my friends, is a good loaf.
I used Spelt wholemeal because that's all I could get thanks to the panic shoppers buying the hell out of the flour section before it even hit 9AM. Yikes, people. Get a grip, please?
So aside from having to run a heist-esque plan to lay my hands on some proper bread flour or even flour at all... Definitely ignore the clock and pay attention to your dough.
Error #5:
Improper proofing, not enough cooking.
So I was exhausted, what with cooking two batches of bread in one day [NEVER AGAIN! NEVER AGAIN!] so I forgot that the bread mix loaves were still proofing when the wholemeal ones were done. This, dear readers, was the final nail in the coffin that made this a sod.
This? This is a loaf that should have stayed in the oven until such time as it actually COOKED.
Sic transit gloria mundi.
Also RIP bread.
At least the wholemeal loaf turned out nice.