Behold.
I am still lost.
Yes, it is true.
It's really not that bad being lost when you have lots of followers like I do.
All of my followers care about me. They were all really concerned about me and they all did their best to try and help me after I posted my last post.
Look:
advised that I invite Kevin the Mountain Goat next time in order to not get lost. Great idea, as goats are awesome at not getting lost! However, it’s a bit too late for me at this point, because I'm already lost. Also, me and Kevin haven't been getting along very well lately. I actually haven't seen him for like a month now. If anyone sees Kevin tell him I said he can go fuck himself.
volunteered to start a fire and send clouds of chokey smoke to lead me out of the woods. Also a great idea! However, I never saw any smoke to choke on. I did manage to find my way out of the woods on my own, but I'm still really fucking lost here. Also, side note, it looks like this entire mountain was on fire sometime in the not-so-distant past. Hmmm.
dropped me an odd comment about upvotes and rewards. Kind of strange, since my post wasn’t even remotely about either of those things. Not sure what’s going on there.
congratulated me for being subject to a "resteeming" (?) and then said something about a thing called Daily Spotlights. Is that a Guy Fawkes emoji with wings and a halo? Or maybe is it the mighty Archangel Anonymous? I guess we'll never know.
- (Insert 365 empty bullet points for all of my other followers who probably just didn't have time to try and help me)
I’m sincerely thankful for everyone's thoughtful attempts to help me, even though some of the help didn’t make any sense, and even though none of the help resulted in me being any less lost.
It’s okay.
Thanks for trying, everyone.
I guess I’ll just starve to death out here.
Hey, at least I'm not bushwhacking through scrub oak anymore!
…
…
…
Wait.
What’s that?
A delicious hamburger??
I'M SAVED
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Hello from the high Rockies of Colorado. My name is Brandt, pleased to meet you. I’m a marketing copywriter. I live in a little ghost town called Leadville. If you like mountains, hamburgers, jokes, running, hiking, breathing, not working, etc., then you and I have a lot in common. Thanks for stopping by, and have a lovely day!