A few weeks ago Gian bought some more seedlings to plant as part of the eco-tunnel we are busy setting up and the adjoining areas around it that will also be developed for sustainable food growing. We suddenly got heavy winds, the plastic sheeting from the tunnel blew off, and we got scorching sun and no rain.
The tomato seedling in the picture is one of six that were in a tray outside. They had become frizzled, brown and lost most of their leaves. One day, as we were walking around the tunnel and talking about future plans and all the amazing things we want to create, I saw the tray with the seedlings on the ground. While I was enjoying talking about the project when it will be big and nice, something was crunching in my stomach, seeing the little dying plants from the corner of my eye.
The next day I walked into the tunnel area and stopped by the seedlings. It was still hot and the plants were all still in shock from the plastic being gone that used to provide them some shade. I picked them up and put them in shaded area. Gave them some water. I started checking up on them twice a day to see how they were doing and if they needed to be moved to the sun, shade or needed some water. Even though they had looked like they were definitely going to die and that it was not worth spending time and energy on, five out of six came back beautifully even brighter and bigger than they had been before.
A few days ago I planted them into bigger pots, so they can start expanding their root system and grow up.
When many things have gone wrong, it can be easy to go into a mode of giving up. They seedlings had looked horrible, yet there was a small potential they could make it. My first instinct was to look at all that was going wrong. The frizzle, the brownness, the dead leaves.
It can then also be easy, to only look at the bright future. The big ideas you want to manifest, and how things will only be awesome once condition, x,y,z have been met – out there, in the future.
In focusing on only the bigger picture and all the things that still have to be done – I was missing the things I could do right here and now. Instead of focusing on the potential that was right in front of my eyes, it was easier to focus on all the things that were going wrong, ‘the bad’.
In the end, it's all the small steps we take, the small actions, the things we do day in and day out - that accumulate to the bigger picture. It's not this 'one big thing' that suddenly happens to us or manifests over night where only then things will be different. We have to implement changes and different approaches in the small moments we have, planting the seeds to eventually come together as a big change. The 'big change' not being the goal itself, but a side-effect of doing all we can do in what we have available for ourselves and others.
This reminded me of how I also tend to look at myself. Playing around with the idea of my potential, out there, in the future – where I focus on all the things I can do then, rather than working with where I am now and doing the things I can do right here. How I tend to only see all the lacks, flaws, mistakes I make – and disregard my gifts, the ways I have already grown and the potential that is already here to be developed and nurtured.
How we treat ourselves ultimately becomes how we treat others and our environment. How we treat others and our environment, ultimately becomes how we treat ourselves. On the Desteni Farm we focus on changing Nature, both within and without. As long as we don’t change and expand, we’re not going to find lasting, sustainable solutions for ourselves and the world. We’ll just be repeating more of the same, as our perception of was is possible is limited by our personal lense.
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