Daddy-Bear, a box arrived for you!
The Good Lady's voice echoed from my phone, she sounded breathless. I wondered if she had been smoking the dried figs again. She was incorrigible that woman.
Yes yes, boxes schmoxes. I am sick of boxes. Didn't I ask you to stop ordering things from Amazon?
I rolled my eyes and looked about the office. Thanks to social distancing and COVID, there was no one nearby to offer me any sympathy. In fact, the whole place was deserted, not even tumbleweed rolled past.
It's not for me, it's for you. It's from Australia...
She said this last part in a hushed whisper.
And well she might. The fabled Australia. The land of upside down. And yet, some said that the people there were the right way up and thought we were the ones who were upside down.
I dismissed such nonsense from my head.
Australia? Oh wait a minute, hang on...
I remembered a fellow Titan and his promise to send a box of goodies my way from the land of sun and blue sky.
Surely it had not arrived so quickly?
My phone pinged and I checked, it was a picture. The Good Lady had just sent it via the half-magical invisible wires of WhatsApp.
It bloody was from Australia! It was the International Care Package from the King of the Titans, Mr 
The day passed in a blur of empty desks and the searing loneliness of Post Covid office life.
Finally, it was over and I made my escape home. On arrival, I ran into the lounge where the Good Lady handed me the box in awestruck silence.
A feather was stuck to some of the tape outside the box.
Do you... Do you think its one of theirs?
She said reverently, pointing at the feather.
No darling, they don't all have feathers you know. It's just another country, they are normal people.
I said this confidently, although I did wonder. Was this an actual Australian's feather? I wasn't daft, I knew they didn't all have them but I knew that some didI know, it's a tattoo, humour me :O)
I put the feather aside for later and proceeded to open the box only hesitating slightly with natural Scottish fear at the smell of sunshine that seeped from its taped edges.
It was a securely packaged beast but finally, I wrestled it open.
Tada! There was millions of stuff!
The king of which was the St Hugo D3R Barossa Valley Limited edition wine! Hot flaming galahs! When I made that comment about the G-Dawg being lucky to live near there I never suspected for a moment I would be getting a bottle of Limited Edition amazeness in the post. Sheer Titanhood!
But there was more.
Books, sweets and sticker books for the kids! (They have already fought over some of it!)
Also, Tim Tams!! I have heard of these things from so many people, I thought it was a species of rabbit but no! It's a sweet thing!
And Vegemite! Not sure if this was a good thing but we will see. I am definitely going to have it on toast. As that old bastard Nietzsche said If vegemite doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.
I'm game.
So it was an amazing package of giftery from the most splendid of fellows that is
I am off to drag the kids away from the stickers and sweets so that I can read them a genuine Aussie storybook. Awesome!
P.s. If the Good Lady turns up on your doorstep with a gleam in her eye, just shoo her off with a stout brush. That's what I do. :OD