I'm up late.
#myflaws #personal #mylife
I just started a fresh pot of coffee. I have to review all emails, meetings, phone calls and communications for the previous month before I sleep tonight. But why am I here at 1:11 AM?
Well, for one I am a professional. If the work load piles up it must be handled, and I'm willing to push through to get it done. I give it my all, so to speak.
See that? That's called lying to myself. The real reason I am here is habitual procrastination.
It is obvious; Were I to take 10 minutes of each day to log my actions I would not be awake right now. I would be snuggled next to my lovely bride of 20 years. I could do that and save loads of time. But... It is 1:15 AM and I am yet again delaying the finish of crucial work under the guise of taking a break after 3 hours straight. It is still procrastinating.
But
But there is always some pressing reason in my mind why it is important to delay the tedious task I do not like doing; though not really a conscious choice most of the time. I'll set aside time to handle the time intensive task, then I'll get an interruption. Those happen a lot with my job. If my focus is broken it takes a good ten minutes to get back to the flow of my work. Worse, if the interrupting task requires critical thought or research to solve, or worse a conversation... I will find myself still enveloped in the topic I was interrupted to handle long after the call ends. I tell myself that new task is immediate, I need to fully understand the topic... where this task is investigatory and not time sensitive... but in reality the follow-on research is rarely worth the time invested. The time would be better spent on the investigatory task. Remember, the immediate interrupting need is over at this point.
Instead I delay. It is 1:36 AM after all. I push off. Sometimes I neglect to even take cursory notes to remind myself of the days activities when it isn't billable effort. It is a horrible thing I know I do, yet it seems nearly compulsory. Procrastination leaves me reviewing all communications in and out at months end: voice, text and email for an entire month to retrace my trail. This is tedious, but not without benefit. The review cements memories in my head and reminds me of tasks and conversations. I am quite good at recalling verbal conversation and meetings as a result.
When I started this process a decade ago I considered this review critical for this very reason. Since then I have learned a lot about myself and the world in general. I've come to realize that reasoning itself was just another justification for procrastination. I question the solidity of the cement when the review is happening at odd hours too. How good could my memory be if all the review were done with a sharp mind? I want to know.
Time to change things up a bit. Well, time to stop procrastinating to finish this off for sure. It is 1:56 AM and I am going to have to make phone calls @ 8am.
I'll try to do better tomorrow :)
I like to consider the ramifications of new technology to old human behaviors. Well, I ponder that and a lot more. Please comment, follow, up-vote and share. I'll share when I can, but keep in mind I have a day job too ;)
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