Do you find yourself worrying about something that happened earlier in the day? Wondering if you could have or should have done it differently? How about waking up in the middle of the night and stressing over the upcoming week? When it’s quiet do you beat yourself up about events that happened years ago, like even in your childhood?
Well, don’t worry, you’re not alone! I have suffered with overthinking for many, many years… I wouldn’t say I’m cured’ and I probably never will be. I have found these 5 things have helped me with a lot of my over thinking. Some of them are a little specific to me, but I have found that a lot of other people seem to be suffering in the same way.
I hope it helps you find some peace in your own mind.
1.) Take care of yourself.
So I have personally found that my mental health is significantly better when I take care of myself physically. I try and take a 30 minute walk each day. I ONLY have 2 cups of coffee a day I try and drink plenty of water. I count my calories. I know through personal experience that when I am physically fit and not eating junk my mind is physically fit too.
Now, cards on the table… I find this HARD! I KNOW that if I do this, I WILL feel better, but for reasons I can’t fathom, my brain and body WANT me to be miserable (it seems). If you fall off the wagon and have 6 cups of coffee, just remind yourself “I WILL feel better if I do this!”
2.) Focus on the positive.
I live with a wonderful lady who loves me and who I love. Our mortgage is nearly paid. We have a buy to let property giving us income. We have no debt except our mortgages. We are relatively fit and healthy. My kids are fit and healthy…
BUT if you could look inside my brain, you’d think that the whole world is out to get me, I’m up to my eyeballs in debt and frankly that life is just insurmountable.
I have found if I write out three positive things that occurred to me the day before, it really, really helps your mental well being.
Once again, this is HARD, especially if you’re in what I call a ‘downward spiral’ and everything is going ‘black’. Stick with it. If you look at the page and can’t think of anything good that happened (I’ve been there) just focus on something that wasn’t too bad; My coffee tasted good. The dog sat next to me. The sun shone. I liked the rain on the window. I found a pretty little flower growing through a crack in the pavement…
Keep trying, I promise it does help… And here is the REAL trick… Keep it up, when you feel better too. If you can’t do three good things, do one.
2.) Get a good night's sleep.
Poor sleeping is sure fire way for ‘dark days’ to be in my near future… I used to wake up at 2am with my head FULL of everything…
Now, there are a number of ways I’ve improved my sleeping habits. Get some exercise. Stop drinking so much coffee and definitely NOT after 12 noon. Stop using your phone an hour before bed. Read a book before bed. These have all helped a LOT.
If, like me you do wake up in the middle if the night, with thoughts whirring, you could try listening to an Audiobook or podcast. Personally I’ve found this is a great way to stop the thoughts whirring and has transformed my sleep patterns.
3.) Mindfulness.
I have personally found mindfulness to be very beneficial. Once again, it is really difficult to get started. Just find a 3 minute meditation that you can do... If you find your thoughts wandering, just go back to it… I found it easier to do 3 minutes 3 times a day than a big 20 minute session, especially to begin with.
How does it work? I don't really know! What I will say though is it helps me to keep life in perspective.
4.) Talk about it.
I expect if you’re reading this, you’re actually quite embarrassed about the thoughts you have. I can’t understand why I have a lot of the thoughts that I do. I certainly couldn’t talk about it for many, many years.
Because I couldn’t talk about it, I lost many friends over the years as it was easier to just let a friend go, thinking that I didn’t really like them anymore than to actually admit “ Sorry, I’m struggling a bit, can you bear with me”
However, talking about the thoughts and things whirring around your head is probably THE best way to get your thoughts in order and get some REAL perspective.
If you don’t want to speak to a family member or friend, go to your Dr. speak to them,tell them what’s going on and they WILL help you.
5.) Stick with it.
For many years (and sadly even to this day) I have found myself in a spiral… Up and down from feeling great to feeling awful. I go down the spiral, I work hard at improving things. Eventually, I’ll feel better and STOP all of the great things that I was doing to make those improvements to my well being.
Carry on. Keep doing the things that make you feel good, even if (like me) You think ‘Well, that was ridiculous, why on earth was I worrying so much about that, I feel great now”
Keep doing the things that make you feel great, that keeps the darkness at bay and maybe you’ll keep yourself a bit more steady.
Disclaimer: I’m not a Dr, I have no mental health qualifications. These are just the things I’ve found that help me out.
If you just can’t get yourself out of the overthinking rut, then please, please, please seek professional help.
Remember: You’re not alone.