On happiness, and how I've made it mine

Sitting here in the driver seat of my car shivering a good deal and supping on a most generous passenger-side spread of oyster crackers and generic spam-like luncheon meat straight from the tin can's mouth like a goddamn champ I can't help but marvel at how wondrously lucky I am to have arrived at such a fortuitous place in life. I really need to take a shit but thankfully since I have no access to a bathroom and the snow is falling far too heavily to make the woods a feasible option at the moment I'm feeling rather forced to slap the act of emptying my bowels back onto the back burner till the weather improves a bit. Naturally enough, I'm chuckling to myself as I ponder on all the miserable little sheeple relaxing in their nice warm little houses down in the horrifyingly picturesque and cozy little mountain town whose hellishly rustic spaces and surrounds would normally appear directly below and before me now if not for all the thickly distributed clouds of this present and uncomfortably welcome tempest. To think that I myself might have been relegated to such unrelenting terrors had the gods not seen fit in all their matchless wisdom and mercy to bestow upon me from birth that basic instinct to eschew proper society as the poisonous trap so few people seem to realize it actually is! Aye, I must say I am eternally grateful to the heavenly powers that be for my precarious wanderings beneath this blotted-out sun; I have certainly done well by them. A great big smile spreads across my face as I pour myself another mugful of bottom-shelf whiskey to numb my body against the cold and contemplate with a fully contented sense of existential dread my want for some of life's barest of necessities. I try my best to recall if, when, where, and how I've ever been happy with the likes of such trifles as readily available electrical outlets, reliable WiFi, and indoor plumbing that can be accessed anytime regardless of one's mental state, but I simply cannot do it. Sooner than later I'm sure the wind will die down sufficiently to afford for me self-extracting from my car and standing fully erect for more than a couple seconds without getting blown to shreds. 'Tis certainly a wonderful life, is't not?