If you're anything like me, you struggle with cooking and baking (and likely adulting in general).
However, sometimes we must rise to the occasion and become our most domestic selves in pursuit of demonstrating our love for the people in our lives (aka it was my boyfriend's birthday and he really likes key lime pie, so I wanted to figure out how to make him one).
I came up with a (nearly) idiot-proof recipe, inspired by allrecipes.com, my mother, and my own creative liberty. Follow the steps below and amaze yourself with your newfound pie-making capabilities:
Step 1: Make the graham cracker pie crust (or buy a pre-made one from the store if you are easily overwhelmed. Shout-out to everyone's bff anxiety!)
1a. Buy a box of graham crackers, stick a few inside a gallon size plastic bag and pound them into crumbles. This step is great for releasing anger and also for making a delicious pie crust. You'll want the crumbs to be pretty fine. Or maybe you like chunky pie crust and are tired of raging on a bag of graham crackers. Whatever- it's just graham crackers, so it's not going to taste bad either way. You'll want 1.5 cups of crumbs for using in the pie crust.
1b. Melt 1 stick of butter over low heat in a pan on the stove. This can be therapeutic to watch.
1c. Pour 1/4 cup of sugar into the melted butter and stir it. Sing "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard loudly and off-key. Only the chorus, of course.
1d. Pour the 1.5 cups of graham cracker crumbs into the melted butter and sugar. Stir the mixture until everything is mixed. Remove from heat. (Don't forget to turn the stove off)
1e. Put the butter-sugar-graham cracker mixture in a 9 inch pie dish and mush it with your fingers to evenly cover the bottom and side of the dish. Afterwards, lick your fingers... MMM!
1f. Put the pie crust in the refrigerator for 1 hour
Step 2: Juice the key limes (pro tip: make sure you buy KEY LIMES and NOT regular limes)
2a: Buy 20 key limes (this should equal appx. 3/4 of a cup but measuring isn't fun, so just assume 20 key limes is close enough and call it a day)
2b: Squeeze out their juice into a large bowl. Pulp is acceptable, seeds are not.
2c: Zest the key limes. This means shave off flakes of their skin. A cheese grater works fastest if you don't have a zesting device, but you can also use a knife. You'll want a spoon-full of shredded key lime skin. Add to key lime juice bowl.
Step 3: Mix the pie stuff
3a: Pour 2.5 cans of sweetened condensed milk into the large bowl with the key lime juice (this should equal appx. 3 cups of sweetened condensed milk). Stir the juice and the milk.
3b: Add 1/2 cup of sour cream into the large bowl. Stir the juice and the milk and the cream until fully mixed.
Step 4: Pour the pie into the crust
4a: Remove pie crust from refrigerator. Pour pie mixture over crust. Do not overflow or else you will have a mess to clean up, and cleaning isn't fun.
4b: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C)
4c: Put pie into oven. Bake for 5 minutes. Remove pie from oven with proper heat-resistant hand protective devices (oven mitts)
Step 5: FEAST UPON THE PIE AND ENJOY APPLAUSE FROM YOUR LOVED ONES!
You, my friend, are officially a key lime pie superhero.
Cheers!
Kateniss