Feeling Blessed - I Got 1.25 Average This Semester

There's a common quote from an anonymous that grades don't define your intelligence and future. I also believed in that, though. But in my perspective, getting good grades meant that a student's efforts, hard work, and sacrifices to achieve this result satisfied the individual. Although I knew that my upcoming semester would be harder and mentally draining, I knew I could surpass it because I believed I could do it.

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From the start of our first semester, I published 17 blogs about my studies. I'm certain I will add another set of blogs for next year since I plan to update here regularly. Aside from additional allowances, blogging has also been my space to release all the negative energies I've been feeling. The compilation below didn't include posts in DBuzz and LikeTu, as the contents I constructed were only brief.

In the whole semester, I paid about ₱18,386.00 ($330.20), totaling my tuition fee, beginning from preliminary to final. I added ₱280.00 for the shirt, though. Good thing that my uncle from Australia promised to sponsor my tuition fees, transportation fee, and allowances until I completed college. That's why you can't blame me for being too determined to graduate with Latin honors because I'm ashamed to disappoint my uncle and parents.

Currently, my parents only stay at home because they don't have an occupation yet. My mother is a housewife, while my father is taking a break from work. I don't know if he could come back due to his condition. My dad works in Uratex, and I know he won't be able to come back as he suffered from a stroke four months ago. Although he is already recovering and getting well, there's a possibility that he won't be capable of coming back from work.

Maybe some of you might ask, "Why I didn't enroll in a public university?" The reason behind that is that I failed to be admitted to my dream course and university. After my father was confined, I thought I could not continue my studies again when I had already decided to enroll in a private. That's why I can't help to overthink where I would get the money to support my studies as the breadwinner of our family was in the hospital.

Fortunately, my uncle answered all of my doubts, and I was able to enroll in a private school. I still resented the school to which I went on admission since depression and negative energies surrounded me whenever I was alone. That was the darkest day of my life, although I was optimistic that I could be successful even if I could not experience continuing my studies. I was strong and positive on the outside, but I began to develop regrets and doubts. My parents didn't get angry as they knew that I did my best, but sad to say that my best was not enough. My only escape to remove my negative thoughts is through writing.

That's why I swore I would give my best in everything related to my studies. I promised that I wouldn't settle for less and that I would be one of the best. After I learned about my techniques to study better, I've been started to practice them. I took different procedures such as planning my deadlines in Notion, the Pomodoro technique, reviewing through Quizlet, and so on. And finally, here is the product of my sleepless nights.

I can't swear that I will be able to maintain them next semester or in the higher years. My prof in our major subject (BAM 191) said that there has a different grading system for the subjects related to our course. Therefore, you can see a big difference in that subject. Based on him, you passed as long as you got 50 in your final grades. I can't believe I got a 1.50 on the final grade for that headache subject. My classmates suspected I was also included in the Top 10 on our major subject since I scored 85 on average. I also expected it, but sad to say that it didn't release.

This achievement made me realize that everything happens for a reason. I think that CLSU (the public university that rejected me) didn't give me a chance to be their student as my destiny resists me from pursuing my dream of being a CPA. I was too confident, so I became delusional to take that. The upcoming college students are so lucky as they would be able to take an exam that I'm confident that I could ace. But as I said, everything happens for a reason.

Maybe if I am admitted to my dream school, I think you won't be able to see me here in Hive. I also don't know my mental health status because of their curriculum. My course is hard as it focuses on Mathematics, but studying about being an accountant is more terrible. I still had a choice to continue it as my relatives suggested, but I chose to pursue banking to reduce stress.

I don't know if I would be included in Dean Lister, but I am rooting for that. It's my second time writing in this community, and the emotion I feel today is being blessed. Thank you for reading! And also, thanks in advance to those who will congratulate me.

Anyway, thank you for reading, everyone. This is my entry for Emotion and Feelings. I hope you are all doing fine. Always remember that there's not enough reason to give up as long it is still visible that there's still hope. For more microblog and blog updates, follow me on these accounts.

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